Life of Kyle Prohaska

It’s funny, yesterday while I was at Vintage (a college group ministry) I felt like I needed to leave during the ending of the message and just go read.  I left early enough that I was able to quickly read through a slew of different books of the bible.  I read 1, 2, and 3 John…Titus, Jude, some of Hebrews, some Romans, etc.  I read all sorts of things that really stuck me hard given what was going on in my life recently and what I knew was coming.  Much has come down on me yesterday and today.  Various phone calls, discouraging emails, etc. that made my day very miserable.  It was tough to keep my eye on the ball because right after something else happened another thing happened.  Not all of it was even bad, just weighty and very important.

I’ll be honest, my greatest struggle is just letting go of things I can’t control.  Whether it’s what people think of me because of something I’ve done, or not done, or said, or not said, or anything else…it’s hard for me to simply let go and realize I’ve said my peace.  There have been so many trials in the last year and many recently that have hit me hard, and I need to remember that suffering is refining.  If you remember, I posted something a few weeks ago where I just laid out on the table everything that was on my mind and asked the Lord to bring the fire if that’s what he wanted.  Now I find him bringing it, go figure! LOL.  I asked for it, and I understand that it’s of God and will make me a greater man of God…but it’s tough to remember that.

I couldn’t remember what passage I had read at Vintage until tonight when me and Denise were talking and I looked through the back end of my bible many times.  By the way, I am the luckiest guy ever…Denise is amazing.  I’m blessed to have her.  I love you if your reading this!

What I read was Hebrews 12…specifically 12:3 through 12:17. Give that a read, and you’ll see what I mean.  I hope that passage blesses you.  It’s definitely one I will remember and refer back to many times over.  Unfortunately the world teaches the opposite of what that passage is saying.  Anything “negative” is bad…it can’t be good…because it’s…”negative.”  Well sorry world, I believe in a God who gives me Romans 8:28 (one of two theme verses for Standing Firm) and shows it to be true on a consistant basis.  That verse shows it’s legitimacy every single day.

As tough as today was, I will persevere and take heart in God’s promises.  Another passage I read recently that speaks directly into my situation is James 4:13-17.  I need to keep my eye on the prize, and understand that God has gone before me.  It’s tough to hang onto that sometimes, and I had my areas of fault today and in recent days, but if it be God’s WILL, I WILL get through this.  I believe it is His Will and where he’s leading and has been leading for a few years in creating this film…so I need to work with confidence towards the goal.

I get so fired up about this stuff…lol.  I hope those passages are a blessing, they are for me.  So much to do, so little time…peace out folks, I need some rest.

Things are moving quickly here in Ransomville, NY.  I have 9 days to lock Standing Firm (read a new blog post here), so that’s exciting/intimidating.  I think I’m finally to the point where I’m getting more comfortable with the edit and I’ll be able to leave it alone.  I really hope I don’t find anything critically bad or realize that I’m totally wrong about the pace of the film or something later.  We’ll see I guess!

I’ve also picked up two new jobs for the month and into the beginning of February.  I’m doing the DVD Menu’s for Rich Christiano’s “The Secrets of Jonathan Sperry.”  I got to visit that set for a day and even end up in the film as a small cameo so that was fun.  I’m also doing the animated titles for the behind the scenes, they came out very nice.  The menu’s also look great and required some work to nail down and they’ll be a lot of little renders to do…but overall I think things are looking good.  I’ve also landed doing a small website for my neighbor, who needs a site to advertise the leasing of a building they have available.  January looks to be an extremely profitable month, about double what I expected so that’s awesome.  God is good!

I was reading Job today and really was reminded of what I have been given.  In the first Chapter of Job, the Bible describes all that Job has (and he had a lot).  In one swoop all of it is taken from him, and where most of the world (and probably me in that situation) would be utterly destroyed spiritually, Job worships God faithfully and doesn’t break his integrity before Him.  That’s an extremely difficult thing to do.  Can you imagine losing all you own, including what’s most dear to you within about 5 minutes?  The anger that might swell in you, the despair, the utter shock.  If the hard drive that holds Standing Firm on it were to explode this very moment I would probably be confused and upset to the point of vomiting.  Understandably so, but even in that (and no doubt Job was feeling that) he submitted to the Lord and what he had done.  It doesn’t mean he wasn’t in despair, but he wasn’t cursing the Lord for what he had done.  Who am I do question?  I’m not God, I don’t run the show.

I pray I would have enough strength next time I’m hit with something really hard to stay pure in spirit…regardless of what comes my way.  I think it’s hard to do that in many extreme cases, but God deserves it.

My favorite part of Job comes not in that first chapter (although that probably hit me just as hard) but all the way at the very end of the book.  Very powerful stuff…

“Then Job answered the Lord and said: I know that you can do everything, and that no purpose of yours can be withheld from you. You asked, ‘Who is this who hides counsel without knowledge?’ Therefore i have uttered what I did not understand, things too wonderful for me, which I did not know. Listen, please, and let me speak; You said, ‘I will question you, and you shall answer me.’ I have heard of you by the hearing of the ear, but now my eye sees you. Therefore I abhor myself, and repent in dust and ashes.” - Job 42:1-6

Right now I’m just looking forward to whatever God has for me in the next month and as the year rolls on.  So much to look forward to and work toward.  One day at a time…as always.

Sorry I haven’t posted in a while, I’ll try and be more diligent from now on!