Life of Kyle Prohaska

I love it when it come up with awesome titles for my blogs…like that one?  I do, so that’s all that matters.  No seriously, you like?  No!?  That’s so mean!  Get out of here…I don’t want you reading this.  Just kidding, stay…if you have to.  Just kidding

Anyways the past few days hasn’t had me posting much, my bad.  Hopefully you’ve enjoyed the other things I’ve posted lately besides blog posts.  The radio interview (which went very well), the Glowing Nose Podcast’s recent episode, various news and blog posts from Courageous (Sherwood Pictures 4th film), etc.  I’ll be using this blog to post all sorts of other things besides journal entries so if you show up and your looking for just the journal then click the link up top that just says “journal.”  That will hide everything else.  I hope you take the time to at least glance at the other stuff I post.  I post it for you all!

I had quite a few things to do today and in the end didn’t get there.  My sleeping habits have to change…they really do.  I’m up too late and up too late. (catch that? :P) I needed to mail off some stuff today and never got there.  Tomorrow will be the day.  One of the packages is screener copies that will be going out to the different major store chains that will carry Standing Firm.  That’s nerve-wracking to say the least since the film isn’t 100% done!  Thankfully on Sunday night I got the final contracts in for that song license I needed.  My sound-mixer Mark Stocker has been a God-send in helping me get this done.  Thanks Mark!  He ran through the contract with me and helped me know my next steps and such.  This is all new territory for me.  The cost of the song will come out of my pocket but I don’t have a choice in the matter.  I’ve already spent thousands and thousands, what’s writing another check gonna hurt? (my bank account…that’s what!)  Such is the life of the Christian filmmaker, so many bills, so little money/time/resources.  Hopefully they’ll be a day this year where that will be different LOL.  We will see…

By the way, I got my copy of The Secrets of Jonathan Sperry recently.  I did the DVD Menu’s and opening graphics for that as well as the Behind the Scenes titles and graphics.  It was cool to see my name in the credits of the Making Of That’s my second legit credit aside from helping color-time In The Blink of an Eye and doing VFX for it.  Very cool for me…I know I’m a loser.  Also if you watch the film you’ll spot me in the back with my friend Sam Torcasio.  We were on set for a day and got to sit in for the diner scene.  You only see the back of my head, but it’s awesome to know I’ve finally been put on celluloid.  Good ol’ Super 16!

I have a lot to do in May :/ I feel like I’m just gonna be going crazy for the next 6 months.  The next 4 especially are going to be intense.  May means almost finishing the BTS and DVD Materials, and shooting my interview.  June means finishing up the film completely and getting it sent off mid-June for endorsements, Dove approval, etc.  July means getting the church screenings setup, the Praise Pictures store and how that’ll work and how I’ll ship from my house, the copies need to get made that’ll go to stores and securing the funds to get those made, and sending off Standing Firm for submission to the SAICFF this year (film fest in San Antonio) etc.  August means release time and all the running around to get that prepared and then brace myself.  I’ll (hopefully) be busy shipping things out constantly and setting up church screenings with folks.  Then September I’ll continue to sell the film and October the film fest happens and that’ll be an experience in itself.  Gonna be a crazy rest of the year…phew.

I really need to find that creative partner I can mesh with for life.  It seems everybody I know has one.  The Kendrick brothers, Staron brothers, Leclerc brothers, Erwin brothers, John Moore & David Heustis, Cloud Ten has it’s own team, Coram Deo has a good team, etc.  So many creative teams of people who work well together and have a level of success attached.  I’m just Kyle, in my room in Ransomville.  I would love to make movies here in WNY, but I can’t always make them alone.  While somebody could just say “then get your help!” it’s difficult to know where to find that help.  Also you run the risk of having too many fingers in the pie, and never being able to benefit financially.  I would love to have that one strong creative partner whom I connect with on a lot of levels…I would go to town with that person.  I’ve yet to find somebody like myself who can do a lot of different things in this arena, do them well (not getting a fat head here just saying I think I can do a good job), has a drive to do whatever it takes to get things done, cares about the Lord especially, and is a trustworthy individual who isn’t going to hamstring me or something in the future.  It’s tough to find good people.  I’m happy to say I think I found some good relationships from Standing Firm I will be growing with future projects.  My sound-mixer is great and knows much more than he might seem at first.  He’s also trustworthy and is a man of integrity.  My composer is a man I’ll use again no doubt.  Wonderful attitude, gracious, high quality results without breaking the bank (and by that I mean tens of thousands or something), and just overall loves what he does and we connect well on what we both want to achieve.  I loved working with my Gaffer Shaun Smith on the film too.  We both understand each other.  My eye with his Gaffing will equal many excellent looking films in the future I think.  If he’s up for it that is, that’s up in the air! Who knows…

I just look forward to the next project already.  I can’t wait to close this chapter of my life.  It’s been a LONG chapter.  One of those chapters in a book when your exhausted because it’s not over but loving it because the build up is so amazing.  I can’t wait to finish…and just know that the film is done.  Nothing can be fixed, nothing can be changed, the DVD is FINAL…with all BTS done and menus and covers and labels.  I can just send it off and see what God does.  That’ll be an amazing feeling, and I’ll sob like a little baby.

I have no idea what my next film is going to be really…I’m just doing what I can to make sure this one gets completed.  Lots to do still…please pray that God gives me the strength to continue.  I know I’ve been able to hang on this long but the enemy is really trying to trip me up in some critical areas of my life, I can’t trip now.  What a tragedy that would be…the runner who falters just before his chest is about to break through the tape.  Prayers appreciated…

Which way Big Guy? I'm Game!

The past two days were pretty uneventful again, JUST KIDDING!  Nah it was great.  Monday morning I woke up to an email from Affirm Films asking for a few things.  No “hey we would like to distribute your film” but no “take this trash and go away” either ;)  So that’s good news, just gotta be patient and give them what they ask for until they assess things properly and make a decision.  It’s a business just like any other, no reason to get involved with someone bad for business, so they can mull over it all they want!

I’m waiting on a call from The Chapel still in regards to that ministry position.  I’ve given it a lot of thought, talked with a friend or two, and I’m just being patient there as well.  It’s Wednesday when I’m writing this and it’s only one week after initial meetings so that isn’t a lot of time passed.  Just like Affirm, I want everyone to give things serious thought and consideration before making a move.  Just like I don’t want my film to go to someone God doesn’t want, I don’t want to go into ministry if it’s not His Will either.

God is teaching me a lot of things in the past few months.  There have been many lessons to be learned, and changes to be made.  Although I have done my fair share of horrible things this Summer in mind, spirit, etc. just as everyone else has…He has been merciful and shown me the errors I’ve made.  Man I know obediance is a CHOICE and not something you “try,” but it’s hard to do it sometimes.  I’ll be honest here and tell you all something that is no secret amongst a few close friends, and if your a guy you can relate.  This world is mighty tempting, in more ways than one.  The fight is in the mind, and it’s a daily struggle.  Magazines in gas stations, ads on Facebook which are VERY revealing and unncessary, the internet overall, just clicking through TV channels can cause some serious issues.  It isn’t just a guy thing either, but you know exactly what I’m talking about.  I told my buddy that driving through Vegas on the way to Los Angeles was a really difficult time.  I got stuck in traffic and there are pornographic billboards every 50ft on the left and right.  This world is so difficult, and any man who claims to be 100% free of it’s snairs is a liar.  Purity of mind is where I struggle the most, and I would appreciate some prayer in that area of my life.  It’s a problem that trickles down into your life, your friends, and if it escallates into truly dangerous territory, it can destroy marriages, relationships with future children, and all things inbetween.  I think temptating for me hits hard when it’s time to start making decisions.  The enemy doesn’t want me to have clarity in my decision making, so it’s times like now that I really need prayer from anyone who reads this, that I would stay strong.

“Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.” (Romans 12:2)

That being said, the past two days have been pretty fun.  I’ve met a load of new people, had a lot of fun, crashed at a friends place (which I haven’t done in years actually), and just enjoyed some great fellowship.  That is one benefit of this ministry position is the social health it’ll bring me.  I really need some daily fellowship, and with this I’ll get it at work and out of work because I’m closer to folks I want to get to know a lot better.  I’m not interested in weekend buddies, I want to grow some seriously deep and meaningful friendships with people I care about.  I’m looking forward to seeing if this ministry job is God’s Will or if He wants me to wait, stay in Ransomville, and stay at Niagara Frontier Bible Church.

Another cool development is I sold a few pieces of film equipment for some good prices and just last night spent a chunk of it on some computer pieces I need.  I have 8GB of RAM coming in the mail as well as a new GPU (ATI 4870) for my Mac.  That combined with the Intensity Card I just bought, will have me all set to do what I need on the film smoothly.  The graphics card I have now is doing OK with these dual screens but a new GPU will give me a serious boost, as well as FCP performance, and the RAM will help me a lot with multitasking which has been an interesting task combined with the RAM I have now, and the fact the graphics card is trying to handle what’s open, and the displays at the same time.  Until you break down what your throwing at your machine, having 13GB RAM in your computer doesn’t make much sense…

So yea, other than that the Standing Firm edit is coming along well.  Just plugging along… I’m excited to see what the rest of this year brings, and the year to come!

My sleeping habits have been so odd lately.  I got up at 1pm today because I had fallen asleep at about 4am.  I can’t seem to get to the point where I can get to bed by 12 and get up around 9 or so.  9 is a good time to start the day for me.  Hopefully I can get back to that sometime soon because I haven’t seen a morning in a long time lol.  This is going to be a really short post because honestly I didn’t do much today.  I worked on a new Standing Firm website, worked on our edit a little bit when Kevin came over, watched a movie or two, and that’s about it.  One thing I did do today was eat some crappier food than usual.  I’ve made it a point to eat when I’m hungry, something I never did in the past years and probably aided in my “thickness.”  Not only did I not eat when I was hungry, but I had some pretty crappy food.

I’ve been craving some different food.  I had pizza yesterday but that didn’t satisfy the craving I had.  I wanted chicken wings…big, juicy, fattening chicken wings.  That flavor was all I wanted so at the end of the day I ordered some.  One thing I hate about going to Johnson’s to order things is it’s always awkward when I walk in.  There isn’t really a place to wait, you sorta just stand there in the open in-between restaurant seats and the bar.  People just love to stare and I don’t really know how to handle it.  I’m not sure if they hired a bunch of new people either but when I walked in it seemed like all the hostesses there were attractive, lol.  When I paid the one hostess said “enjoy your food, hun.”  Now maybe it’s just me, but that’s normally something I hear from an older person.  Maybe she thought I was 11, but the beard would say otherwise.  She didn’t look anymore than a few years older than me.  I just found that odd, lol.  Yes, the wings were amazing.  I ate as many as I could but didn’t finish the 20 I ordered.  I probably had 15 stuffing myself.  I can’t eat as much as I used to, probably half of what was normal.  I can’t really finish a footlong Subway sub anymore.  Once I eat the last bite of it if I finish I’m totally filled to the limit.  It’s odd how my body reacts and fluctuates in weight, food intake, etc.  I’ve always found it a tad confusing…ah well.

That’s about all I have to say, a pretty boring day all things considered.  G’night.

"Which Way Lord?"

So today was only my second day back in NY, and it felt like I never left.  I used my phone as an alarm clock as I had yet to plug mine back in.  It went off at about 9:15am and I was so tired I turned it off and rolled back around in bed.  That was a mistake, as I blinked after I rolled over I ended up falling asleep.  Have you ever been so tired you thought all you did was blink and you realized one blink cost you a half hour?  Well that was me, I had fallen asleep again and woke back up at 10am.  I got ready in about 10 minutes.  Brushed my teeth, got dressed, didn’t eat breakfast (which is unlike me), and hopped in the car.  I think since I’ve been losing some weight (I’m about 205 now, and I can definitely see it in my stomach/chest section) I’m hungry a bit less.  Even though I hadn’t eaten in the morning I wasn’t hungry anyways which is odd.

When I got to church I knew a lot of folks I know were in for a surprise.  The looks I got from people when they saw me was awesome.  I got a lot of hugs and handshakes from people.  No matter where I settle in life, this will always be my home.  Not in Ransomville mind you, I’m talking at NFBC with my family.  I come from a family that isn’t as tight nit as my blog might suggest.  I think I’ve spent more time around my church family growing up than I ever did around my real family (minus my parents and my mom’s mom Betty…RIP miss you!), maybe 10x more.  I trust so many of them with advice and counsel, it’s really a safe place for me to be.  My Pastor has only been at NFBC for a few years but I would trust him with anything, and he’s become a bit of a father to me (don’t worry dad!  I love you haha).  If I was somehow unable to get ahold of my parents or they weren’t around anymore, Pastor Billy would be the first person I contact.  He’s such an amazing man of God, and took me under his wing big time when I came on staff at my church in 2006.  We grew so much as I worked there.  You know someone is close to you when you have more inside jokes between each other than any other person in your life.  We just laugh when we see each other.  I made sure he didn’t know I was coming home so I could surprise him.  I was sitting right behind him during worship and when he went up to setup his computer while everyone was greeting I snuck up behind him and said “boo.”  He looked up at me for a second, then looked down at his computer.  His neck snapped back up and a big fat smile appeared on his face, it was gold.

I gotta tell you, nothing wakes you up more on a Sunday morning like Pastor’s sermons.  He is the most dynamic, loud, exciting preacher I’ve ever seen.  I think the sound-waves leaving his mouth actually gave me a bruise.  It was like getting hit in the face when he started preaching, haha.  Sitting in a pew is really odd I gotta say.  I was taping sermons for 3 years, never sitting in a pew more than maybe once a year when I finally got someone to do it for me.  After church I just mingled until the place was almost empty.  Joan Golda brought that smile to church like I had told her the night before chatting on Facebook.  She is such an encouragement to me sometimes, just that smile is enough to wipe a frown off anybody.  Thanks Joan!

On the way home I needed to go grocery shopping and get my car washed.  I’m sorry all of you reading this have to hear about such trivial things, but that’s too bad…you’ve come this far, and now I’ve got you!  *evil laugh*  Anyways I drove down the typical hill I always did to go to Subway for lunch back when I worked at the church.  I’ve been down that hill a zillion times, I felt like I never left home.  Tops was pretty busy since it was 4th of July weekend.  I grabbed a bunch of odd things that we didn’t have at the house and called my mom to say hi and make sure I wasn’t buying something I didn’t need to.  I grabbed hotdog and hamburger rolls, lettuce (the good stuff, spring mix…), fat free Italian Dressing (wishbone, only the best for this green eater!), Pizza Pringles, Milk, Cereal (two healthy kinds, I can’t remember…there is so much awesome cereal that isn’t all chocolate and sugar you know), Slimfast (there’s my chocolate fix), Dill Relish (gotta have that), and a Take 5 candy bar (my other chocolate fix, it was on impulse…they put that crap where you go to pay for things for a reason).  Either way it was about $50 or so for all of it, not bad considering what I was buying.  The Slimfast added $7 bucks or so to the price for just 6 cans of it but it’s worth it.  They are a good item for breakfast when your on the run, and control my hunger for a few hours while giving me some good nutrients as well.

On my way home I got a Subway sub to take home only because I had plenty left on my gift card (thanks Dave and Marcia!), and I wanted to see the face of the workers when I walked in again.  Only one of the usuals I remember was in there but when I walked in and he saw me his expression was of shock and his words were something to the tune of “O…M…G…it’s you.”  It’s always funny when I go in there and other customers wonder why I’m so comfortable talking to the slave making my sandwich.  The lady that runs the place, Sharline is gonna flip when I walk in and she’s there.  She gave me my last sub before I left for CA for free.  In a very profound and sad moment she slide the sub across the counter and said “It’s…on me.”  I’m not sure just how much money I had spent there a year for the previous 3 but if my math is right I could’ve bought a second car, and a new one at that.  No I’m not kidding, I practically kept one of their gas pumps funded each month with the amount of times I went there.

The way home was nice, exactly how I wanted it.  The sun out, my arm out the window (which is a little burned from the long ride home), and music blasting.  A perfect Sunday so far, and it only got better.  When I got home I put everything away and ate that sub of mine.  It was glorious, I’ll just say that.  I went upstairs and got working on a few things.  I opened up our edit file and messed around for a while but the rest of my time was spent on Facebook and chatting with folks.  I got a new layout designed and finished on this site which came out great I think.  Hopefully this is one that will stick for a long time and become a bit of a signature.  Soon I’m going to make web banners that people can use to place on their websites to advertise the site so get ready for that soon.  I’m going to try and start writing a lot more on different topics, not just the daily blog.  Maybe I’ll start doing an interview or two as well.  I don’t think I will place the interviews here however, I’ll place them on PraisePictures.com then cross promote them here.  If you have someone in mind let me know and if you have any contact information that would be helpful as well!

Kevin stopped over later in the evening to talk and we chatted about the film, I went over what changes I had made recently, and we just spoke about the future.  We always get a lot done when we are face to face.  Email/Phone only does so much, even in todays world.  There is nothing better than being right there with someone hammering out the details about a project and fixing problems.  I have to butt in and add this here.  Just now a friend messaged me with the conversation starting with this brilliant statement “Women…”  Ha ha, I just had to say that….awkward placement I know but it made me laugh.  Anyways, Kevin left and I just continued to work on a few things.  I’m glad to have my desk back in order and my room back.  These monitors look fantastic in this room, I gotta say.  Tomorrow it’ll feel good to wake up, eat breakfast, then go to work.  By work of course I mean open up Final Cut Pro and hammer away at my edit of Standing Firm!  It’ll be the very first day I work for nobody but myself, what a weird feeling that is.  I look forward to it though, and whatever else might be in store for this film in the Fall.  I have high hopes but I’m taking things one step at a time.  Nothing would be worse than to squander the gift I’ve been given and the sacrifice that everyone involved in the film made.  Our film is currently at 85 minutes, and I did hear a rumor that the new SAICFF 2010 rules would have a 90 minute minimum limit on the feature category.  That would be a HUGE disappointment for us as we really hope to enter the film.  If it ends up being a 90 minute cap, then I might have to get on the horn with as many supporters as possible to get it pushed through, granted they even accept it.  If you want to read what my thoughts were on last years SAICFF you can read the article I wrote here.  People seemed to love it last January, and I think you will to!

I also had a long conversation today with David Evans, Director/Producer of The Grace Card, the film I hope to be apart of in September through the fall.  It’s a huge opportunity for me as I would be coming onto the project as another Producer.  That’s a large role for someone like myself to fill, especially for a film with so much potential.  I’ve been working with David semi-daily for a month or so now and talking with him previous to that just working out details and giving advice where I can to help bring elements together.  This film really has the potential to be something very special.  The script is currently being revised by a gentlemen who co-wrote Space Cowboys, a movie from 2000 directed by Clint Eastwood.  I look forward to seeing the script polished and ready to be broken down and laid into categories.  It looks like this thing in Memphis is going to happen, from the way the phone call went.  Everyone over there is on-board with my involvement, and I think we decided to have me fly down there sometime really soon to just meet face to face and get my feet wet.  This is a project separate from Praise Pictures just so everyone is clear.  Visit the website for the film here which I’m also designing to see the basic concept art.  There is no information on the page yet, but you have something to look at for now (I’m working on it, cool your jets).  I’m excited, and just moving as the Spirit leads.  One thing I need to make sure is that I have my film in a completed form well enough to mail to interested parties, and that I’m able to continue whatever might need to be done in the Post/Distribution process if we get any takers.  Distribution is a whole different beast from any other part of the filmmaking process, as is marketing and promotion.  I have so many ideas and content I’ve prepared over the last year that will really set the film apart I feel in quality, scope, and ambition (especially at our budget).

“The Holy Spirit is a strong wind, and I’m a tumbleweed…” - me

Brian Roberts (Writer/Director of Veggies Tales)

Well…I’m finally getting around to posting again.  I got calls from people saying they were going through “withdrawls” without their Life of Kyle posts…haha.  That’s flattering and somehow creepy.  I’m glad all of you read this, makes me want to post more often and make things more juicy  Let me start from the beginning of the week.

Jun 30 - I work up early that morning, at about 6am or so.  I wanted to get on the road an hour early but I was up late packing my car.  My body was exhausted when I woke up.  I must’ve hit that pillow hard the previous night.  Anyways I got up and immediately got dressed, brushed my teeth, fixed my hair the best I could (wow was it a mess) and rolled up my blowup mattress to begin the long journey home.  Stop #1 was in Albuquerque to stay overnight with Eric Highland.  On the way there I was taking a more southern route so I hit the desert for a LONG time.  It was the most boring drive ever, but I made it.  At least there was some cool rock formations to look at.  The temperature was insane, hitting 108+ at one point.  I’ve never been in that kind of heat, thank goodness I was in a car.  I normally don’t use air conditioning but after an hour of that 100 degree heat I turned it on.  I kept thinking about Bugs Bunny talking about Albuquerque.  I have heard the name of that city for years and never looked up anything about it.  It was a pretty cool place, much bigger than I thought.  I stopped by at a coffee shop where Eric and Brittany (his assistant) were working.  Because of his 4 kids, he doesn’t get a thing done at home, so he works at the coffee shop using their free Wi-Fi.  I had to use the bathroom and had to wait a while.  On my way over a waitress backed up into me with her giant platter almost hitting me in the face.  I dodged it and she didn’t drop it, thank goodness.  I was already embarrassed to be there because of how terrible I looked.  I need a shower, a shave, etc. and looked like a yeti.  As I thought about it more, I decided not to stay the night.  I had far too much energy after eating at the coffee shop and I knew that TN was just far enough to cost me an extra nights stay so I pressed on.  I talked with Eric and Brittany for a little over an hour and went on my way figuring I would be able to go another 4 hours or so.  Well those 4 hours turned into like 7.5.  That put me in TX at a rest stop somewhere in the middle of nowhere at 4am.  That’s 20 hours or so of driving…insane I know.  Lets just say I didn’t have a problem falling asleep, regardless of how messed up my back was going to be in the morning.

Eric Wilson (NYT Bestseller & Writer of Fireproof (novelization))

July 1 - I got up at about 8am or so, only 4 hours after going to bed.  I got back on the road yet again, ready to make it to Sparta, TN by nightfall.  It was another boring drive and this time more than any other was I going a little batty.  I was bored, aggravated, tired, and I felt nasty (needed a shower, shave, etc.).  I passed Oklahoma City and Memphis and headed towards Nashville which I had to passthrough in order to reach Sparta.  They were cool looking cities.  I look forward to seeing Memphis a bit more if I end up there this fall (although driving all the way back down there doesn’t interest me…UGH!).  Nashville was very big, much bigger than I ever would’ve thought and of course I hit traffic.  For some idiotic reason they put the downtown highways into 1 lane and it took forever to get out of there.  That easily added an hour or more onto my drive time.  I think I had grounds to start losing my head since I had been driving for so long.  Other annoyed people were probably trying to drive a few miles and got stuck…shut up you bunch of sissies.  That last hour to Sparta was LONG…but I was glad to get there.  Torry lives in a little hick town (forgive the term but it’s the truth) who’s claim to fame is being the hometown of Lester Flat (the guy who wrote the Beverly Hill Billy’s theme).  His house was tucked away on this little back road and surrounded by greenery.  I have heard great things about Torry’s house so I was excited to see it.  When I got inside I saw why, there is stuff everywhere!  Not junk piled mind you, I mean all sorts of neat little nicknacks and odd pictures, statues, etc. that decorate the place.  I hadn’t seen anything yet.  I saw my room downstairs which was really nice with a huge bed and all this log cabin themed furniture.  What an amazing task to pull together all this stuff over the years.  I loved the bathroom I had to use although I think a simple hose and toilet would’ve been alright with me.  I was so ready for a shower you can’t even understand.  Yet again the house surprised me when I turned on the shower and found it to be like a fire hose.  The shower head was awesome and felt good after all that driving.  I talked with Torry and his friend Rob for a while and then went to sleep.  I slept so good I can’t even tell you.

July 2 - When I woke up I had a little bit of time to get ready.  We were going to Nashville to meet up with two men that Torry knew.  There was supposed to be more but they couldn’t make it.  On our way there we talked in the truck about all sorts of things.  Me and Torry are as he called it “kindred spirits” because we’re so similar.  I think on the way there we talked about him a lot more than we did myself, I just butted in every once in a while.  It was cool to learn a lot about his past, how he came to be a Christian, and al the awesome things that have happened to him since.  He really has an AMAZING story to tell about how he found his house.  Either way we made it to Nashville and found where we were going to eat…the Cracker Barrel.  I think I have only been to one of these once but can’t remember where/when.  If I haven’t mentioned this yet, Torry might surprise a few folks when they see him.  He describes himself as a big red-haired hippy from Alaska, and he isn’t selling himself short with that statement.  I can see why some people might give him a weird look when they see him as he is 6ft 5 or so and a bit heavy…but he doesn’t care and neither did I!  When people look at someone like that, I immediately notice something on them that I could turn a head to.  ”Hey!  Your Fat!” my response…”Hey! ….YOUR OLD!”  Either way people are mean nowadays, they need to shut their trap.  The lunch went amazing.  I got to meet Brian Roberts (Writer/Director of Veggie Tales for the last 10 years), and Eric Wilson (NYT Best Seller & Writer of Fireproof (novelization)).  They were great guys and we hit it off very easily.  We talked about Christian filmmaking (although we talked about the label put on “Christian” anything and how that might affect it), writing, the status of film in todays world and what kind of projects we want to work on.  We were all in agreement about a lot of key points.  I loved talking to these guys.  This is exactly what I craved in LA and didn’t even get it there.  Although I’m happy to be going home, I’m still creatively sheltered as I don’t have anyone around me who is really interested or can talk to me about my hobbies/interests.  It’s been that way for a while and this meeting was welcomed with open arms.  It was a bit odd for this 21 year old kid from nowhere talking to these two VERY successful men and having fun and chatting it up like I was on their level (which I am NOT…lol don’t think I’m saying that).  They were excellent contacts to make of course, but being able to sit and have lunch really makes it more than that.  It felt less business related and more just fun “lets meet and greet” related.  When we left Torry had to get some Amazon boxes from both guys for this shoot he had coming up at his home.

Me and Torry

We headed to Brian’s house to get the boxes and made sure we got a picture.  Is it just me or does a beard make my face look like an oval?  My chin is NOT that big, haha.  Anyways when we left we almost got lost but my iPhone saved us with it’s GPS.  Thank goodness because Torry started to freak out when we got lost.  He’s like me in that way but in this case he was going to be late for his audition which would really suck for him.  It was for a roll on Larry the Cable Guy’s Holiday Special.  When we got there he had to go in and I had to wait outside so I just sat waiting for Eric to show up with his boxes.  It turns out the best conversation I had was then with Eric.  I got to share much more in depth what kind of story I was trying to tell with Standing Firm and was getting confirmations from Eric that I was on the right track.  He seemed interested as a lot of our conversation revolved around changing the way we tell stories and getting away from the things that plague bad movies.  He seemed delighted to know that I had been determined to change as much as I could from the conventional film (in the Christian market especially).  Eric was an awesome guy I hope to work with in the future.  When you hit it off that well you know that working together would be a breeze.  On the way home the conversation between me and Torry shifted to me this time.  I told him my testimony, what I used to be like as a teenager and the more I spoke the wider his eyes got and the lower his jaw fell.  He just couldn’t believe this kid sitting next to him telling him all this stuff.  It was funny to me as I don’t look at it as anything special, haha.  I guess it’s good to know that I’m so different than I was in my past.  Even I know that but I’m not looking at me from the outside so who knows what people see.  He kept saying how floored he was I was 21 and how “intelligent” I was.  I take that kind of stuff with a grain of salt and if you know me, I NEVER take those kind of comments well.  One of my biggest weaknesses is excepting compliments.  I used to be a big egotistical butt-hole who wanted nothing more to be better than everyone, lol.  How am I supposed to respond?…”O yes I am intelligent, thanks so much…you ain’t seen nothing yet.”  I also told him just how moving to LA changed me.  I think some people back home might notice a slight difference in me when I show up on Sunday morning.  Regardless of what happened in LA, the money it cost to move, etc. I really went through a change out there.  Just the action to moving was a big step for me.  I told him no way a year ago (or even a few months ago) would I ever move a few thousands miles to a place I don’t know to work at a place I never visited to check out, or live in an apartment with someone I never met besides through email, etc.  I went way outside my comfort zone and learned a lot.  Just driving across the country was a stretch for me.  I told him driving from LA back home and stopping in TN to meet a guy I’ve never met face to face, let alone stay at his house said a lot about how different I was.  Mom and Dad, I know your reading this and can confirm that statement, it’s just not something I would’ve done in the past.  I’m a bit more outgoing and ready for something new, a lacking trait of mine.  The odd becomes normal and the comfort becomes less important, although I am happy to go home.  Either way I laughed at him and just kept going and eventually I told him the entire story of our film.  The more I told him the more he loved the story.  Just explaining it to him got him going I think as I pealed each layer of the story away I tried to put into the film.  My biggest fear was never that I didn’t have great moments in my film or things that work well, it was do they all work TOGETHER as one piece.  So many movies have great moments, but few have all those great moments hold together as a flowing river of story.  Either way as I explained it he understood all of it, and I even went out of order with the subplots jumping around and he still was effected by it.  That made me feel really good because when you look at one thing for so long, each moment you make becomes less and less exciting to you.  I really hope that the first viewing of this film for someone really gets them how it got me when we came up with it.  Now as I watch it very few things get me going because I’ve seen it hundreds of times over.  Torry assured me I didn’t have to worry but I do  We had to stop and get some food on our way so we could have dinner that night.  We continued to talk even as we shopped, haha.  As we got back to his house we unloaded everything and got inside.  Soon after I was able to show him a few parts of the film I had described earlier and since he had all the context in his head nice and fresh he was able to see the moments and how they fit in.  He really liked what he saw which got me excited.  I’m still not convinced that the film works, only when someone sees the whole thing from beginning to end will I know.  Even me seeing it I think won’t do the trick, because of the reasons I stated earlier.  That’s why studios do test screenings, to find out what works in the film and what doesn’t so they can know how better to either adjust things, or market the film.  Who laughed?  Who didn’t?  Who cried?  and….Who walked out?  lol.  Either way the rest of the day was just talking, eating, and relaxing.  I haven’t mentioned Torry’s office yet, one of the coolest things I’ve ever seen.  It has been on TV before because it’s so detailed.  Torry loves Batman, Superman, and has a few Spiderman items.  This office is really amazing, full of figures, comics, all sorts of cool little items you’ve never seen before.  There’s even a 6ft Spiderman statue that he got as a gift!

But wait…who the heck is TORRY MARTIN? - Torry is an award winning Writer and Actor, talented Comedian who has shared the stage with many well known actors/comedians from MadTV and SNL.  He has won many times at the GMA awards for writing comedy and drama, and shared the stage with musicians like Michael W. Smith (among many others), currently has his own character on Adventures in Odyssey (and writes for the show), has recently done voices for Veggie Tales, and so much more.  Here is a list of some of Torry’s accomplishments:

Books Torry Has Contributed To
Living it Down by Laughing it Up, Martha Bolton, Vine Books 2001
Single Servings by Lee Warren, Revell Publishing 2005.
Scriptwriting by Martha Bolton and Kim Messer, Lillenas Drama
Don’t Stop Laughing Now! by Ann Spangler and Shari MacDonald, Zondervan

Humor Columnist for the following Monthly Periodicals
On Course Magazine Enrichment Magazine
CBN Online

Awards
Best Actor- 48 Hour Film Project-Nashville 2008
Audience Favorite- 48 Hour Film Project- Nashville 2008
Best Actor- 48 Hour Film Project-Nashville 2007
Audience Favorite- 48 Hour Film Project- Nashville 2007
Grand Prize- Life Lesson Commercial- The Learning Channel (TLC) 2007
3rd Place- Drama, GMA 1998
Grand Prize- Sketch writing, GMA 1997
1st Place- Sketch writing, GMA 1997
2nd Place- Sketch writing, GMA 1997
3rd Place- Sketch writing, GMA 1997
Grand Prize- Dramatic Monologue, GMA 1996
1st Place- Dramatic Monologue, GMA 1996
3rd Place- Sketchwriting, GMA 1996

So yea, the guy knows what he’s doing  Anyways don’t forget to look at the pictures of that office…it’s insane.  We were up for quite a long time talking, and I didn’t get to bed until 3am.  I had the opportunity for stay for a few more days but I really just wanted to get home.  I was just ready to see my house again, sleep in my bed, sit on my own toilet (yes…that does matter), and all the rest.

July 3 - I woke up at like 11am and got ready quickly.  I packed my stuff back in my car (laptop, suitcase, etc.) and got on my way.  Torry wasn’t happy to see me go, but I think I’ll be back  I woke up with a really stiff neck and that wasn’t going to make the ride fun.  I had about 13 hours of driving to do to make it home.  Of course on the way home that neck problem turned into a splitting headache.  It was the worst one I have had in maybe a year.  I could barely stand it, with my eyes pulsating, I wasn’t really driving so well.  Eventually I realized I just had to deal with it and I had many hours to go before I could get some relief.  That’s a crappy feeling being far away from relief without anything you can do about it.  I’m totally shut down when I have a headache.  I probably look like I’m on drugs because my jaw just hangs open and I moan like a moron.  I headed north taking a lot of back-roads like my GPS told me to.  I’m glad it did however because I would’ve gone through Knoxville, TN where traffic would be awful.  I went through a lot of small little towns and hit all sorts of big hills and stuff.  Kentucky wasn’t too far away and I was on back-roads almost exclusively through that entire state.  Only once I got near Lexington did I end up on a highway (a real highway I mean).  I ended up in Versailles as well, which I guess is the horse capital of the world.  All those big horse races, you know….Seabiscuit and all that.  Once I got into Ohio I was back on the highways still trying to get rid of my headache.  I just needed to keep my head still, not turn it quickly and be calm.  That’s how my headaches go away, I’m normally in a room all day with a pillow wrapped around my head keeping as still as possible.  Any surge of blood flow makes it hurt more.  Having a headache is like being angry, your angry and you slowly calm down but the smallest little annoyance brings the anger back up again and worse most of the time.  That’s how headaches work so I just needed a long enough stretch of time to keep my brain and body still.  It didn’t start to subside until it got dark and my eyes could relax.  I was a few hours away from home when it started to dissipate, thank goodness.  I was going to pull over and sleep if it kept going because that many hours with a pounding headache really messes you up.  When I got into Buffalo I felt so good.  I could turn off my GPS and just drive home knowing where I was, what was around me, where to go to get home, etc.  Cops were all over the place too, but Ohio had it the worst.  I saw so many people pulled over.  Ohio is insane when it comes to cops.  I got back into Ransomville and it felt like I never left.  I turned the corner at the stoplight like I had just done it a day ago.  My car pulled up the driveway and I got out looking at my backdoor, I was finally home.  One last thing remained, to unpack my car.  It was about 2:30am at that point and with a headache just barely gone carrying tons of heavy boxes wasn’t the first thing on my list but I knew getting up and doing it was the last thing I wanted so I just got it done.  What a crap load of stuff I had, my goodness.  So many boxes of equipment and such, and only like 10% of it being clothes and essential living items.  It takes a lot to keep my “business” going, what a pain.  I walked upstairs and went into my room.  It had been situated differently as my mom didn’t expect me to be in it for sometime, imagine that.  Anyways I knew I was going to need to remove a lot of stuff in the morning so I just got into bed and checked out for the night.

This week has been a busy one that’s for sure.  I drove 40 something hours from LA all the way to NY, about 10 hours more than on the way there because I took the route to TN.  But it was way worth it and I met some people I think will become good friends.  Torry kept telling me “I’m telling you, your a writer…you’re a filmmaker and a storyteller, I see it in you.”  That was great to hear as I feel that’s my calling.  I now have some time to finish my film at home and get it into some worthy hands.  I’ll have to keep a close eye on my finances, because I’m not sure I have enough to sustain me for the next two months, and that’s assuming the job in Memphis goes through and I actually leave.  Beyond that, I’m unemployed.  Just think of it as an extended vacation.  I know something will come along, but I don’t think it’ll be a permanent stay.  I keep thinking for some reason that this will be the way I make money for the rest of my life.  Writing for this, creating for that, making some money off freelance, selling a film every few years (hopefully), etc.  I know I can do a lot of things, but as I said earlier and talked to Torry about…turning it all into a career and making a living at it is the trick.  I think I’ll get there, but at the moment I’m not 100% how…and I don’t think I ever will be.  It’s one of those things that just happens.  That right opportunity comes around and BAM, success in whatever capacity God has for me.  I must make films for the rest of my life.  That’s where my passion is, my heart is, my interests are, and all things in-between.  There are far too many who like films, like to make films, but don’t really deeply passionately have a caring heart to make films.  They “like” the story not “love” the story.  I have a deep rooted fireball mindset towards storytelling and creating those great moments that effected my life so much.  I’m not an expert, and I don’t pretend to know everything…but I will continue to learn and persue excellence in all things to eventually become that expert.  Not a thing in the world will stop me because I believe it’s God’s Will for me. (not that I become an expert necessarily but that I do what I’m describing with my life)  Here’s hoping for a great future in the Lord and a successful career impacting lives for His Glory…this is only the beginning.

How’s that for a post?  Did you get your fix?  I hope so because I’m starving and need to go grocery shopping and begin the slow but sure process of emptying my bank account.  Adios.

Today was another day of ADR for Rob.  I got up in the morning and meant to go to work to run something quick then run home but I was just too behind.  We got to work as soon as Rob got here and it took us about 4 hours to complete things.  We goofed around a little towards the end, putting in our voices for other actors.  It was fun putting in my voice for Pastor in a scene and….editing the dialog.  We sent it to him and waited for his phone call, he laughed immediately.  It was great fun, our cheeks were killing us watching a few short scenes with the absolute wrong voices on peoples faces.  Afterwards I waited for my mom to get home, ate some lunch, and played her in ping pong.  She told me to “hurry up and eat your hot dogs, I have to wup you in ping pong.”  I played her and won, woo!  I love playing ping pong…and I hope for a nice day on my b-day so we can play forever ha ha.

Later I went to Vintage and said goodbye to a lot of people I wont see for a very long time.  It was bittersweet at best.  I found myself saying goodbye to people more than once during the night, I couldn’t help it.  Everyone had good things to say and encouraged me which meant a lot.  Applebee’s was fun, and the buffalo wings were subpar…they always shortchange me.  Either way it was a great day and I had lots of fun.  Tomorrow is going to be pretty nuts and tiring.  I have our last day of shooting tomorrow, and I’m a bit nervous about completing it…not because of the amount of stuff (the amount is very little), it’s because of my uncertainty of what exactly I need.  I have a good idea but it’s just one of those “I don’t know” circumstances that scares me to death.  We also have something else to do tomorrow I wont mention but I’ve been dreading it for a long time.  Hopefully the day ends well.  I gotta figure out a way to get some ministry work done too after the shoot and the other stuff.  Should be a busy day, and a long one.

Move to CA To-Do List:
- Shoot Tomorrow then come home to do ADR with Eric till night (Eric wrapped)
- Do ADR with Eric all day Saturday if we don’t finish tomorrow
- Sunday is church, then a going away potluck for me with friends and family, then hanging with friends later in the day who I probably won’t see again unless I visit (sadness…)
- Last day of shooting with Rob at church
- Go to my last Vintage night at Tuesday and cry as I say goodbye to friends.
- Shoot Pastor’s interview for the film as well as my Gaffer’s and my moms.
- Finish ADR recording with Katy and Maggie, and anything left with Aaron.
- Work on all the ADR recorded to make sure I’m not missing anything and all takes are good and fit.
- Get any shots that might be left for the film like establishing shots while I have the chance.
- Begin packing.
- Shop for a new wardrobe all day one of the days.
- Somehow work in a 40hr work week at the church (my last)
- Complete training of volunteers for the taping at church and anything needed to be worked out with the guy taking my job in ministry.
- Finalize trip details
- Visit with any other friends and family while I have the chance.
- Finish planning my Bday/Going Away party and have it!

Torry Martin...reminds me of the furry guy from Spaceballs

The rest of this week is full of movie stuff.  Tomorrow I have ADR to do half the day, then work at the church the rest of the day.  Then on Friday I have Rob and Eric’s last day on set together then ADR with Eric the rest of the day.  Then if we don’t finish on Friday, he will be over most of Saturday until we finish.  Sunday I have a luncheon at church as a little farewell thing for me.  The beginning of next week will have me trying to somehow finish my last day of shooting (amen!), finish ADR with Rob and others, work my normal 40hr week job, tape a few interviews for the film, go shopping for a new wardrobe, and plan a Bday party for that Saturday.  Gah!!!!

Lots of stuff to do.  I got a call from Torry Martin today who is a comedian from Nashville, TN.  I’ll be meeting him on my way to CA it turns out…and hopefully someone else I’m excited to meet.  I’ll tell you more as things get confirmed.  I’m sorta glad I’m going more southern to get to CA.  It should be a cooler drive, with more rocks and mountains than the route mapquest originally took me.  Yes, it’s a little longer, but that’s ok with me if it means meeting some cool people!

I also bought a digital camera today to take with me to CA and get pix along the way!  I’ve never owned my own Digital cam before, so I’m glad to finally have a decent one.  It’s a budget cam but it’ll give me some nice results.  It’s a Nikon Coolpix S560…should be cool.

That’s about it for this entry, I didn’t do much else today lol.

New entry on the Standing Firm blog: Reshoots & Pickups - Day 14

Later!

Today was a good day, much better than the last few.  I’m still sick but getting over it.  I had a lot more energy today, probably due to me getting to bed early like my body told me to.  We had a good day of shooting today that you can read about here.  The footage came out great and we had a fun time.  Lots of laughter on set today as I’ll share soon in a quick video (LOOK BELOW).  I’m really thankful for everyone sticking with me on this film, it means a lot.  After shooting I went to Subway like I do all the time and got my sub.  I took the long way home again, probably 10minutes out of my way.  I went to Subway in Lewiston so I took the river road way home passing by the water and going through Youngstown, then to Ransomville.  It was 82 and humid today so it was a good drive.  I enjoy the wind in my hair and the music in my car on a day like today, it’s great.  I’ve made it a point to just do random things I enjoy lately before I can’t do them here anymore.  What’s wrong with taking a random drive?  Nothing

After I got home I ate my sub (obviously) and it was good haha.  Getting bored reading the blog yet?  Speaking of which I’ve had like 1500 page loads this month, kinda surprising since the blog is about me.  Who the heck cares about what I have to say?  Ah well people seem to like it so I’ll keep on posting!  After eating I went upstairs to log the footage from today.  Logging is where you load all the clips that you shot for the day onto your computer with all the meta data.  Meta data is information like Reel Number, Scene, Take, Angle, etc. with each shot you do.  I was a bit lazy with it today, logging things in large chunks because I didn’t feel like waiting.  I’ve done that lately, I just didn’t have the energy to spend 2 hours or so logging 80 minutes of footage only to have to wait another 80 to have it actually go back and capture what I logged…no thanks.  I was too tired and bored to wait for that although I still had to wait 80 minutes for it to rewind and load…meh.  Either way the footage came out great as you can see in the images at the bottom of the post.  Comment if you like them!

I talked to some friends on Facebook, did some e-blasts, invited folks to some of our groups on Facebook and stuff, etc.  I also talked to a good friend of mine, Chris Staron.  He’s such a great guy, very warm and easy to talk to.  Very caring about what’s going on with people which I admire.  I had the pleasure of hanging with him during the SAICFF last year.  Him and his brother Nick have a new film releasing in mid may called Bringing Up Bobby.  Take it from me, this film is good.  I’ve seen it many times over and will be doing a DVD Review & Film Review soon before their release so be sure to keep an eye on the Praise Pictures site for that!

That’s about all I did today, tomorrow I’ll be shooting by myself with my mom on boom…now there’s an adventure!  Tis the life of an indie filmmaker…  Luckily we have little to shoot, or else tomorrow could’ve been ugly.  Pray for a good day!  Till next time…

Today was a boring day, not much to tell. All I did was resign from ministry, accept a new job, reject another, have a nervous breakdown, and get a big spiritual uplift afterwards. Like I said, not much to tell.

For those of you who are wondering which job I took…I took the one in LA. This means big changes for me in the next 6 weeks. My last day here will likely be the 26th of May. That will give me a few days to get to CA, get settled as best I can, and have a weekend to chill before starting my new job on June 1st…one day before my 21st Birthday. Yes folks, I’m only 20. Whether that shocks you or not, doesn’t matter. Those of you messaging me about the answers to life, your getting advice from a 20 year old. Just figured I would put that out there. I’m not saying that’s negative either, I just think most are unaware of just how young I am (it’s just a number in my opinion).

I had severe anxiety most of the morning, getting an upset stomach and feeling really sick. I went about my normal day thinking about things heavily and debating. Technically I made up my mind the night previous but I was still second guessing myself and things of that sort. Regardless I talked with my Pastor about my resignation and he alerted the deacons so they could work up a game plan for me leaving. I’ll be working with my Pastor from now until leaving to get him more acclimated to my actual job so he knows how to do most of it. My job isn’t difficult it just takes time, something most don’t have to “volunteer.” That’ll be a lot of time spent while I’m at work besides having the normal sunday morning video to do which wont be difficult. I’ve been at NFBC on staff for 3 years this May, its been a wild ride. So much has happened in the last 3 years, more than I care to share. What a roller-coaster it has been. Working in ministry has its ups and downs no doubt. Church politics sucks by the way, just figured I would make that clear. Take it from someone on the “inside.”

I eventually called David A.R. White who will be one of my new bosses at PureFlix Entertainment. I told him I wanted the job, worked out how to send me my paperwork, etc. I should get it tomorrow and fax it back by afternoon. I was going to wait to call Andre at Cloud Ten but figured it would roll around in my head if I didn’t get it over with quickly. I called and broke the news to him by which he was very respectful and understanding of my decision. I told him to keep me in mind for any “for hire” jobs in the future, help with small projects, etc. Anything I can do for them on a case by case basis for more pay I would do just like I would any other job like a website or graphic job. I hope they give me a call sometime, I know I could come in handy! Moving almost 3000 miles from everyone I know and everything I know will be a very difficult and scary thing, but I’ll have to trust that God will take care of me and keep me safe. I’ll need all of you out there to keep in touch and visa versa on my end. The enemy will no doubt try and bring me down quickly since my normal face to face accountability with friends/family will be extinguished.

I still don’t have a place to live and I’m hoping I can snag the original place I had in mind which it turns out is still open. I need to wire the money quickly and to do so I’ll be living off my American Express card for the next week and a half since I just got my last paycheck last friday. $750 a month + a damage deposit when I arrive end of May. All in call it’ll cost me quite a bit to move, 750 x 2 + gas to drive there which will be about $200 (my 05 Toyota Camry gets good gas milage).

When I arrived home, that’s when things got kinda bad. I came home to look at our movies edit and really evaluate where we are. I didn’t get through the whole thing, didn’t have a lot of time to because I was leaving for Vintage in an hour and a half or so. A large amount of anxiety filled my body soon after getting home and I looked at our film. A clock had started ticking when I woke up in the morning. I have 5 weeks to complete all shooting needed and ADR required. Seems completely doable to me if properly planned and I know exactly what I need. There lies the issue. I know what is left to shoot but I really need to be 100% sure there is nothing that needs strengthening and fixing via shooting to complete the film. I can’t afford to miss anything and the middle of the film is where the most holes are and uncertainty lies. The scenes are there but there is some shakiness I felt in terms of how strong it was, it needing a little tweak here or there, etc. There is a story change we made I haven’t fully hammered out yet that has to be figured out soon…before we shoot at Kevin Michael’s house again (the main house of the film). I felt worse and worse every ten minutes and I’m not sure why but I began to sob. Yes call me dramatic if you want, but I think it was just a big crashing of emotion falling down on me. Few other than those who have poured so much into something before would understand why. I wont get into all that as it isn’t worth restating and getting all fat headed about my “woe as me!” moment. Either way the feeling was fear, true fear that I won’t figure it out in time. Fear that all the people around the country that know of the film, are waiting for it, praying for it, etc. are going to be let down, and fear that all the work put in will be faltered or made less of because of my incompetence. I had a bit of a nervous breakdown and cried out to God for help on my knees in my bedroom. To give my wisdom to complete the film, patience and humility, the proper outlook, etc. I hadn’t felt so burdened since before we started shooting last year.

I calmed down a little bit and decided to go to Vintage as I said earlier. I knew I was really going to need it and talk to a few friends of mine to ask for some prayer, not just for the move but for the movie. It’s really hard feeling that way and not having someone to talk to. Sometimes I catch myself unloading my burdens and problems on people I barely know or those who are at an arms reach simply because I don’t really have someone I can do it with. I do but they aren’t close. I get sick of using the internet to talk to people and want a human face or someone to hug sometimes when things are really difficult. Might not sound like the “guy” thing to do but I don’t care at all. Guys need hugs too sometimes, and if your a guy reading this…admit it to yourself and stop being macho because nobody cares, lol.

Vintage was good, I didn’t show up with such a good smile on my face. I wasn’t upset but was sorta “neutral” in my appearance. I told a few friends about the news for moving and the movie and by the end of the night had 3 people pray for me specifically and during their prayers say how I was such an inspiration and example to them. That really touched me, and Blessed me a great deal. I didn’t really know I made people feel like that. I get Facebook messages and emails often of people encouraging and being very inspired by our film and things of the sort but having a human face or a friend come out and say stuff like that really gave me a lift. The message was about relationships tonight but within that was some core questions that I needed to hear. Stuff that I know and that I’ve battled with all during this films creation but every so often need an uplift and to be reminded just how far God has brought us. In the end the statement given (Mark 3 somewhere I believe), Jesus stated “Don’t be afraid. Just Believe.” That end part of the verse froze me in my chair and immediately made me start crying again. I just start repeating it to myself like a chant in my seat. I really needed to grasp that and hold on tight to it. It’s something I’ve had to deal with countless times making this film, having never made a film before…each time we started something new I had to cling to that very thought. It gave me a big boost and took away the anxiety even though I still have a lot to do! lol.

I bumped into a friend of mine also that will be able to really get things setup properly for our ADR which is a big deal to me. Not this Saturday but next he will be over with his box of goodies to make sure I have all the little pieces or annoying accessories I might need to get setup. It would take too long to ask him what I need, order something online, have it shipped, then realize you forgot something, etc. I don’t have time for that so he is going to help me out and I’m very grateful, thanks Paul.

Afterwards I went to Applebee’s with friends and had a great time and met some new people. We had fun chatting and joking as usual. Tuesdays are such a great night for me. I get to really feel my age when I go out lol, most of the time I feel 40+ like I already have a marriage and kids on my hands. Ministry is the marriage and the kids are the movie sorta.

One of the best and hardest days I’ve had in a long time. God has been faithful though and I’ll be ok. Thanks to everyone who has messaged me in the last 24 hrs to give me support, advice, prayers, encouragement, etc. I don’t think I really know just how many people are watching most of the time. Thank you all for caring so much about a 20 year old dude in Ransomville. As much as I may or may not inspire or encourage you all, you give back to me 10x over. Thank you so much, you don’t have any idea just how much you all mean to me.

Today was a Saturday, and oh how I love Saturdays.  I slept in late, getting up at about 11:00am.  I love that feeling when your comfortable in bed and you know that if you wanted to you could dose off a million times over.  I don’t like sleep, I don’t think anyone really likes sleep.  What they love is the moment just before they fall asleep when they are comfortable and relaxed, that’s the part people mean when they say “I love sleep.”  I’m glad I switched out my double bed for this little cot looking thing.  Simple logic would think it’s a stupid idea, but I have lots more more floor space now and the bed is actually just as comfortable.  It’s an old junky mattress but I took a thick blanket and folded it a time or two and placed it on top.  Now it’s nice and comfy.  

Today had me doing the typical Saturday things, sitting on my butt in front of the computer surfing Facebook and chatting with folks.  I didn’t really do any work today besides taking a look at my film edit.  I fixed a thing or two, made a phone call to some folks, helped my dad in the barn and a few other things.

The Barn - My father is working on fixing the front of our barn where it rotted and had a leak.  The barn is one of the first ones in Ransomville, NY and it’s picture is at our local bank along with the other few historic buildings in the town.  It’s over a century old, so the wood is…we’ll a century old.  While my father was fixing the wood above the large door (where he normally pulls his 74 Chevy into to sit), the tension spring rigged door design caused a little problem.  Because the wood was rotted, at one point the bracket that holds the springs tension broke off and spun around like 6 times hitting my dad in the forearm a bunch of times before he pulled his hand away.  It happened so fast he didn’t know what hit him.  Granted this is old sharp rusty metal this bracket, and he could’ve easily lost all his fingers, his hand, or a giant chunk of his forearm.  Luckily he had many layers of clothing on (it was cold today) and it only tore the sleeve of his outside coat to shreds.  That could’ve been ugly.  So when I was helping him with a few things trying to fix it later in the day I was weary.  Such a simple design, it’s surprising just how dangerous something like a pulley system can be if its got a huge spring attached to it.  Yikes.

I watched the new Julian Smith video today.  That dude got to get a tour of the Facebook HQ and have a little fun with the workers (haha).  It must have been a blast.  This guy is a very talented young man.  Naturally comedic and creative with goofy videos and relatable topics.  He feels like a Jerry Seinfeld for the new generation, plus some quirkiness I can’t quite put my finger on.  He also had a few other meetings in California besides Facebook, one of them being YouTube and I’m sure a few others.  It doesn’t surprise me at all given his talent.  Someone will find him and it will snowball.  Oddly enough, I realized I knew a few people who know him, small world.  It was neat to find that out.  I firmly believe this guy is going to be BIG in the next few years.  Keep an eye on him for sure, some TV show appearances and many other opportunities are definitely on the horizon, I know it.

I got lots of things going on in the next two weeks.  We are shooting a few more things for Standing Firm, and I’ll be pretty busy doing that and working all week.  It’s going to be a nutty two weeks I think.  

There is also some life changing decisions I have to make.  I don’t want to sit too long on a decision but I don’t want to rush either.  I’ve been offered a job opportunity in Los Angeles, CA and I’m inclined to take it.  We’ll see what happens, there is a lot to do before a move is possible but I’m prepared to take the initiative if it’s a go.  Time will tell, keep me in your prayers.

That’s it for now, I have to burn a DVD for a friend who is guest speaking at our church tomorrow.  His name is Derek so pray that all goes well and he does a great job!

What Movie Did I Watch Today?: Twilight

What Song Am I Listening To?: Come On Eileen by Dexy’s Midnight Runners

What Did I Hate Today?: Realizing I ate too much junkfood

What Did I Love Today?: I created this blog, woo!