Life of Kyle Prohaska

Tonight was the screening at Niagara Frontier Bible Church (my old home church, the one I grew up in).  I had a headache all day and wasn’t really looking forward to later if the headache continued.  It drifted in and out, but stuck with me all day.  I think today is the day this week finally caught up with me and hit me hard.  Every morning I’ve gotten just under the amount of sleep I needed so I’ve gotten progressively worse every day that continues.  Tonight will be the night to sleep until I feel like getting out of bed, because my body doesn’t need it anywhere near as much as my mind does.  After dinner I quickly got dressed and headed to the church early to make sure things were setup right and pray with some folks.  Rob, Kevin, my mom, Shawn and a few others were there.  We prayed for the night and weeped quite a bit.  Rob was giving the Gospel after the film and we prayed over him as well, that he would speak the words the Lord would have for him.

After we were done praying the hallway was already full of some people waiting to get in.  I paced around a lot, not sure how to feel.  I wasn’t really nervous I just wanted to get it started.  The only thing I was nervous about was going up before the film and publicly thanking certain people for working on the film.  Before you knew it, the place was pretty full, maybe 200-250 there or so.  That’s a lot for our little church!  Kevin got up there and welcomed everyone, and then I went up and thanked everyone for coming and pointed out Rob, Shawn, and a few others.  I felt terrible though because I was forgetting people and slowly got around to thanking them, but then at the end I forgot Kevin.  If you’re reading this Kevin sorry!!  My head was going crazy and I had my unsaved family up front staring right at me the whole time, I was freaking out a little.  I had a lot of other things I had planned to say but just wimped out and started the film, LOL.

I’m surprised I sat through the whole thing.  I had expected myself to get up and leave a time or two during a lot of the parts in the film I can’t stand, but I stuck around.  I can’t believe how well the film played there.  I had yet to see it with an audience before, and it was a home run I think.  Like three minutes into the film I heard the sniffles starting all around the room.  Grown men were crying, even the guy friends of mine who’re my age.  It seemed like everyone was crying at some point during the film.  When funny scenes came along the laughs were very loud, much better than I expected.  As I watched the film I studied every single frame wincing at every mistake, every line I wasn’t happy with, every shot that was poorly filmed or blown out.  Some of the color-correction could’ve been done better, and some of the sound-mix I found some things I didn’t catch, and some music things I wish I knew about.  There was a ton going through my mind.  I hadn’t seen my film in a month and a half, so it was interesting getting a pretty fresh viewing of it.  I’m shocked that it even works, I really am.  That film is a miracle for more reasons than one.  I really think that calling this film my “Flywheel” wouldn’t be an understatement at all.  So much that shouldn’t work…works.  The budget definitely shows it’s ugly head at times, but even regarding that the film looks more expensive than it is so I praise God for that.  Overall I was absolutely thrilled with how the film was being received, and when the credits began to roll I felt like my heart was going to explode because I was waiting for the moment when people would start clapping.  When they started, they didn’t stop for quite a while, lol.  It was awesome!

Afterwards there were a ton of handshakes and hugs, everyone seemed very pleased and blown away by the film.  I’m so incredibly thankful for all that everyone did to help bring the film together, it was a team effort.  The fact that the film played that well there makes the results I read about the Costa Mesa screening even easier to believe.  That’s an encouraging thought.  The more positive reviews and comments come in, the less worried I am about the film being enjoyed.  I think I would be comfortable showing the film to almost anyone now, and not worry too much about their response.

Some people went forward after Rob spoke, although I didn’t get to confirm if there were any souls saved that night, just a few folks that I knew of that had some junk to work through.  Either way I found out that my grandparents were moved and cried which threw me for a loop.  To hear that was very surprising and I’m thrilled to see what kind of doors this could open to witness to them.

Tonight was a great time of closure for this project, especially concerning my church family and those involved.  Since I’ve moved on from NFBC and God is moving me to new things and has moved me to a new home church, it was a great way to end out my history with NFBC and begin anew.  God is good, and he showed up in a big way tonight.  He gets the Glory!  Thank you Jesus.

I’m not sure if I’m ready for this.  I went on a men’s retreat for my new home church The Chapel this past weekend.  It was a great time!  Played some sports, heard some speakers, and soaked in the beautiful scenery out in the woods of NYS.  All of it was going great, except I couldn’t help but check my phone a lot.  Friday night there was a screening of Standing Firm at the Calvary Church of Costa Mesa in California.  I had a friend go and report to me how it went, what the response was, etc.  I’ve never personally seen my own film with a large group of people, so naturally I was nervous even though the screening was 3hrs behind me and 3000 miles away.  I didn’t hear anything the whole night until I went to bed.  My phone vibrated and I checked the text.  There wasn’t much in it since texting is hard sending large amounts of information.  But what it did say is that “three people came to Christ.”  At that moment my head hit the pillow.  That one text made the last three and a half years worth it.  Every hour spent up late had been worth it.  Every single difficulty and tear shed in creating the film had now been shed with purpose.  I don’t mean to say that creating the film because God told me to wasn’t enough, but to see an eternal result and know that it had impacted someone FOREVER was a sobering and humbling thought.  I was very quiet Saturday, because I just needed to soak in it for a while and praise the Lord in my head/heart.

Here’s what another had to say who was at the screening:

“It was a great film! Great story, acting, direction, editing, etc. and my church absolutely LOVED it! Best of all, I could hear people afterwards praying along with our pastor to receive Christ. A couple a few feet away turned to me and said, “We need more movies like that!”  Teens actuallly started CHEERING excitedly at the end of the film last nite b/c of the power of its message! That’s rare in So California. Keep up the great work, Kyle!”

I can’t really articulate what this week has been like for me.  The film has been selling very well from what I can tell, with every online retailer undershooting how much of STANDING FIRM to have on stock.  Everyone sold out, it was insane.  The film continues to stay at #1 on ChristianCinema.com.  There are few films I’ve seen do that for that long, and they were big movies.  Since the stock was out everywhere else I sent everyone to ChristianMovies.com since they are the only ones who had it, and it shot to #1 there in just 24 hours.  All my Twitter accounts have exploded in the last week as well.  The movies Twitter has grown past 12,000 Followers, and my personal nearing 8000.  The other accounts I have for other things have gone up an insane amount as well, in the hundreds and hundreds a day across the board.  I’m so incredibly Blessed right now, there isn’t really any other way to put it.  God is pouring out something special here, and I’m so undeserving of it.  I’m so unholy, and so wicked.  Why me Lord?  Why do I get to enjoy this?  Even if I was faithful with everything 100% of the time in creating the film (which I wasn’t), I STILL don’t deserve what I’ve been given or might be given in the future.  This whole “deserve” and “self-respect” business is over with for me.  Apart from Christ I can do NOTHING.  I have nowhere to point but above for the results taking place right now, it’s all Him…it always was.

Tomorrow the film is being screened at my old home church of Niagara Frontier Bible Church where I grew up my entire life.  That’s the church that provided almost every actor and crew member we had, and they’ve waited patiently to see the film.  The buzz is very high and everyone is excited.  I’ll have unsaved family there, and others are likely to have the same.  I hope I don’t vomit beforehand, because I might want to.  You can bet on me being in the back biting my nails the entire time, because I’m going to be a basket case the entire time.  I have a confidence folks will enjoy it, I’m just not sure I’m emotionally prepared for it all.  I hope someone gets saved tomorrow, I would melt.  On a worldly note…as an artist I always wanted to hear if only once in my life the claps of a crowd for something I slaved over.  It’s something I’ve dreamed about as a kid, and while I didn’t make this film for that reason, I have a feeling everyone will go bonkers after the credits roll tomorrow.  I’m not sure I’m ready for that.  Three and a half years wasn’t enough.  There’s a big question mark in my life right now because I’ve basically completed my life’s dream except for getting married and having children.  Where do I go now?  I know I need to go forward, but it’s still an incredible thought to know that at 22 this is happening.  Again, why me?  God doesn’t have to Bless, but HE DOES.  What a God we serve!

Don’t you dare ever think that because you’re young that you can’t make a difference for the Kingdom.  Don’t think because you’re older that you can’t make a difference in the name of Christ.  Don’t listen to it, it’s all rubbish!  Today is the day to begin a good work in His name!  Are you going to wait until you’re out of high school before you make a difference for Christ?  College?  When your kids are out of College and out of the house?  Today I’m 22, tomorrow I will be 44, the next day I’m 90.  Life is fleeting!  Blink and it’s gone!  I don’t mean you gotta go out and make a film to impact folks either.  Impact them with YOU.  Don’t be the “tomorrow” guy.  What assurance do you have that tomorrow will ever arrive or you with it?

Please pray for tomorrow.  I have unsaved family coming, and I’m terribly nervous, excited, scared, queazy, and everything in-between.

Christ is King, it’s his film, and it’s for His Glory.  May He make much of it tomorrow, and the next day and the next day.  I look forward to the future, without a clue what I’m doing or where I’m going, but I suppose that’s why it’s called faith?

Blessings - Kyle Prohaska

Only two days before my first feature hits shelves, wow.  This upcoming week is going to be pretty busy, not even with a ton of events, just mentally busy.  I have 4 radio interviews to do, packages to ship out, some online interviews to approve, and I’m ending out the week on Friday/Saturday at a men’s retreat for men at my church where I’ll not only get to bond with a bunch of folks I don’t know (not my strong point), but also plug the film there for those attending (reason for that coming after a while).  So yea it’s going to be pretty interesting to see how I handle the week.  Also not today but next sunday we’ll be showing the film at my old home church.  Lots of folks there are waiting to see it, and it’s going to be a pretty difficult night for me.  I’ve been stewing over what I should say while I’m there.  I know what I should say really, but it’s how to say it and being able to keep my composure.  It’s a bigger night for me than it is for some others.  I can’t wait to thank everyone publicly for their help, prayers, etc.  Also I’ll be biting my nails as that screening will be more personal and critical than the others since people who are there were in it.  My unsaved family will be there as well (the local ones) which makes me doubly nervous to show the film let alone get up there and say something about it before and possibly after showing it.  Rob (lead role of Dave Corwin) will be sharing the Gospel as well after the film.  Please, PLEASE be in prayer about the impact this film could have and that God would move mightily in Rob that night.

Also pray for just the ability to get through this week with my mind intact.  There is much to keep going at one time, and sometimes I get behind.  I’m looking forward to my online interview at ChristianCinema.com being released soon, that’s been a long time coming.  Also the film hit #2 at the site today, right behind Letters To God.  I find that to be pretty incredible!  God is good.  There is this other interview for a small blog I did just a day ago.  It was only 5 questions, but I absolutely poured my heart and soul into this thing.  I’m looking forward to sharing that.  While it’s bound to shock a few, I think it’s a good outlet for me to express what I really think of this Christian filmmaking industry, where I see it going, and what I think about that.  I think it could be one of the best “articles” I guess you could say that I’ve ever written, and it’s a compilation of what I think about what I’ve seen these past few years having gotten involved with this industry, met many in it, read what they have to say and spoken to some on the phone, read forum posts by those who are either in this industry or plan to enter it, and much more.  There is much to say and I didn’t really spare anything.  It might shock a few, and possibly even cause some division for those who support me.  Do I have your attention now lol?  We’ll see what happens.

As this month comes to a close I’m also only weeks away from moving into a new place.  You know what’s funny?  The thing that’ll probably be the most difficult in this process is changing ALL my address stuff to my new address.  I have the PoBox for Praise Pictures everywhere, and I’m likely going to feel the repercussions of that for a long time.  When I move I’ll need to go setup a PoBox for me personally, and for the business and keep them separate.  Luckily the Post Office is around the corner from where I’ll be living, so that’s good!  Lots of change coming as you can see, and I look forward to it.

Some have already begun reviewing the film on various websites because sites have started shipping the film already.  If you’ve seen the film, I would appreciate you reviewing it.  ChristianCinema.com requires you have an account to review it, but ChristianBook.com, and Parable.com don’t.  I’ve gotten the film onto Amazon.com finally, and no reviews are present yet.  No Spoilers please! I hope you’ll take a few moments out of your day to submit your reviews to those locations.

Counting down the hours…g’night!

Only 8 days until STANDING FIRM hits shelves in Christian Bookstores everywhere.  I gotta tell you, that makes me a bit numb.  Today was the day I started shipping the Church Screening Packages to those who had signed up.  I had 6 so far, with MANY pending…just waiting on the order to come in.  I went to the post-office and got them sent and ran an errand or two.  It comes to my attention that one of my Facebook friends goes to one of the churches showing it, and he had mentioned that it was a 10,000 member church.  I nearly fell off my chair, lol.  So I did a little digging and it turns out one of the packages I sent today went to the Calvary Chapel of Costa Mesa.  That’s Chuck Smith’s church.  I had no idea!  LOL.  I was so stoked to find that out.  I also found out that one of the other churches showing it has a couple attending there that had come to NFBC in the past, imagine that?  They were the ones who told the leadership about the film.  It’s funny how things come full circle  The film is still on ChristianCinema’s Top 10, at #6 today.  It fought back and forth with the Love Comes Softly Boxed Set all day, I kept an eye on it.

I still have to finish the Bible Study Guide for the film, that’s something I need to buckle down on and stop messing around.  What’s there I’m really happy with, but it’s just not completed.  I got a breakthrough in UK distribution today, looks like if all goes well the film will release in the entire UK Christian Market, not sure when yet.  It’ll take time to get the contracts all set and things hashed out.  I’m contacting other markets as well like the Latin American Market, Asian, etc.  God is taking this little movie to the masses, we’ll see how well it does out there.  It’s definitely scary to think that so many will be seeing the film.  I’ve yet to watch it in a room with a big group of people, which makes the screening coming up on the 29th at NFBC pretty nerve-wracking.  I think it’ll go well though, and I look forward to peoples reactions.  I don’t think I’ll end up sitting in the front to watch but instead I’ll hover in the back watching everyone.  I want to see people reacting, not watching the film up front with them.

I have two phone calls to make tomorrow.  One of them is an interview about the film which will be transcribed and posted online, and the other talking with a lady from a company that distributes films on sites like Hulu, Fancast, etc.  I’m determined to get this film into ever nook and cranny it can possibly fit into, bar none.  Online streaming, iTunes is still a work in-progress, Netflix (including the streaming), etc. etc.  Why not?  Why not email a distributor in Asia and say hello?  I was talking to a friend today who was encouraging me and I told him how funny it was that the film was birthed, written, created (post), and completed all in this bedroom.  Now look where God is taking it!  That just shows his faithfulness when his people say yes.  Don’t ever think what God has called you to is impossible.  Also, NEVER feel like you can’t do something great because of your age.  This culture, it’s system, our schools, etc. have all segregated age and shoved everyone into these little boxes of identity with the feeling you can’t break outside their bounds.  Go against the flow and do something awesome at your young age.  Now is the time to start, never tomorrow.  If you ever think tomorrow will be the day, you’ll wake up one morning realizing that “tomorrow” became the next day, then the next, then the next, and you never started.  What a tragedy that would be, especially if it’s something you feel God might be calling you to do.

Glorify him in all things, because that is our purpose here.  If it’s not for His Glory, it ought not be done.  All goals, decisions, actions, etc. stem from this.  God’s Will is perfect and complete, but He offers the opportunity to take part in it.  Run fast and run hard.

Also here’s two great testimonies I recieved through the Praise Pictures Youtube Channel:

“It’s been a difficult time for months now, and in particular we had a house fire this past week. Thanks for thinking of us and inviting me as a friend. I’m sure God is using even just that simple thing to indicate somehow that He cares. Thanks.”

“Thank you for finding me!  I watched the video clip and cried. It touched my heart with the memories of my young daughter passing away in a car accident, then my husbands mother the same day. (three yrs. ago) Through the trauma of that day, God worked it for good and brought my husband to know Him and be saved that following Sunday! Thank you Jesus! (Just like in your movie) my husband has become the man he was created to be, a great husband and father to our son. One who loves the Lord with all his heart, soul and mind. I look forward to purchasing your movie. It will be a great tool (and blessing) to loan out to friends and non-believers alike. Thank you!”

God is good, ALWAYS.  8 more days…8 more days.

Which way Big Guy? I'm Game!

The past two days were pretty uneventful again, JUST KIDDING!  Nah it was great.  Monday morning I woke up to an email from Affirm Films asking for a few things.  No “hey we would like to distribute your film” but no “take this trash and go away” either ;)  So that’s good news, just gotta be patient and give them what they ask for until they assess things properly and make a decision.  It’s a business just like any other, no reason to get involved with someone bad for business, so they can mull over it all they want!

I’m waiting on a call from The Chapel still in regards to that ministry position.  I’ve given it a lot of thought, talked with a friend or two, and I’m just being patient there as well.  It’s Wednesday when I’m writing this and it’s only one week after initial meetings so that isn’t a lot of time passed.  Just like Affirm, I want everyone to give things serious thought and consideration before making a move.  Just like I don’t want my film to go to someone God doesn’t want, I don’t want to go into ministry if it’s not His Will either.

God is teaching me a lot of things in the past few months.  There have been many lessons to be learned, and changes to be made.  Although I have done my fair share of horrible things this Summer in mind, spirit, etc. just as everyone else has…He has been merciful and shown me the errors I’ve made.  Man I know obediance is a CHOICE and not something you “try,” but it’s hard to do it sometimes.  I’ll be honest here and tell you all something that is no secret amongst a few close friends, and if your a guy you can relate.  This world is mighty tempting, in more ways than one.  The fight is in the mind, and it’s a daily struggle.  Magazines in gas stations, ads on Facebook which are VERY revealing and unncessary, the internet overall, just clicking through TV channels can cause some serious issues.  It isn’t just a guy thing either, but you know exactly what I’m talking about.  I told my buddy that driving through Vegas on the way to Los Angeles was a really difficult time.  I got stuck in traffic and there are pornographic billboards every 50ft on the left and right.  This world is so difficult, and any man who claims to be 100% free of it’s snairs is a liar.  Purity of mind is where I struggle the most, and I would appreciate some prayer in that area of my life.  It’s a problem that trickles down into your life, your friends, and if it escallates into truly dangerous territory, it can destroy marriages, relationships with future children, and all things inbetween.  I think temptating for me hits hard when it’s time to start making decisions.  The enemy doesn’t want me to have clarity in my decision making, so it’s times like now that I really need prayer from anyone who reads this, that I would stay strong.

“Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.” (Romans 12:2)

That being said, the past two days have been pretty fun.  I’ve met a load of new people, had a lot of fun, crashed at a friends place (which I haven’t done in years actually), and just enjoyed some great fellowship.  That is one benefit of this ministry position is the social health it’ll bring me.  I really need some daily fellowship, and with this I’ll get it at work and out of work because I’m closer to folks I want to get to know a lot better.  I’m not interested in weekend buddies, I want to grow some seriously deep and meaningful friendships with people I care about.  I’m looking forward to seeing if this ministry job is God’s Will or if He wants me to wait, stay in Ransomville, and stay at Niagara Frontier Bible Church.

Another cool development is I sold a few pieces of film equipment for some good prices and just last night spent a chunk of it on some computer pieces I need.  I have 8GB of RAM coming in the mail as well as a new GPU (ATI 4870) for my Mac.  That combined with the Intensity Card I just bought, will have me all set to do what I need on the film smoothly.  The graphics card I have now is doing OK with these dual screens but a new GPU will give me a serious boost, as well as FCP performance, and the RAM will help me a lot with multitasking which has been an interesting task combined with the RAM I have now, and the fact the graphics card is trying to handle what’s open, and the displays at the same time.  Until you break down what your throwing at your machine, having 13GB RAM in your computer doesn’t make much sense…

So yea, other than that the Standing Firm edit is coming along well.  Just plugging along… I’m excited to see what the rest of this year brings, and the year to come!

I think I’m going to post every two days or so from now on, depending on what happened that day…because I haven’t had as much to talk about as before.  Monday was a pretty boring day overall, nothing to report really.  I was at home all day and that’s pretty much it, lol.  I did however buy that Intensity Pro card I was talking about so I was glad to make that purchase.  It arrived today when I woke up this morning.  It took forever to put in as the thumb screws on my macpro were super tight and no screwdrivers I had could fit into the spot I needed to get to.  Needle-Nose Pliers were the only way to get them loose, and after that it was a snap.  I got everything hooked up and opened Final Cut Pro.  Instantly I was watching Standing Firm on a 50in Plasma in all it’s 1080HD glory!  It looks fantastic throughout, with some things I’m not too wild about but for shooting on a sub-$4000 HD camera, it does one heck of a job!

I also output to my Production Monitor which showed me the color very accurately so that was nice.  I’ll be color correcting to that when the time comes.  I edited a bit of the film which had me cutting out another minute or so.  Not like a section of the film but small pieces of scenes that added up to that minute.  I’ll be cutting the film pretty close to the 81 minute mark I think.  There are junk lines and things that aren’t needed or repeated things within a scene that can be chopped, just overall tightening.  Some of the pacing is as good as it’ll get with what I have to work with, but I’m happy overall with most of the scenes.  Some of them I think will really hit people hard.  It’s pretty remarkable how well the emotional and intense scenes of the film turned out, and I find those to be the strongest (which is how it should be).  Everyone did a good job with what they had to work with, and having me around to Direct while I was trying to do a lot of other things in my head.  As a team we pulled it off, I’m by no means the golden ticket to the films quality…not by far!

One thing I forgot to mention was on Monday as I plugged my phone into the charger it rang, so I picked it up and it was a lady from The Chapel (where I go to Vintage) responding to my email to their media guy about a possible job or something.  We setup a meeting for Wed @ 2pm…so that was cool.  I’m writing this on a tuesday night so tomorrow is the day.  I’m interested to see what they have to say.  I gave them the new trailer for the film, a resume, links to my website which has all my web/graphics work on it, etc.  Even if the offer was for something really great, I won’t say yes right away.  It means big changes for me I think.  One of them is moving to a new church, away from NFBC.  The next, moving…  I have a room with a friend 5 minutes from The Chapel if I want it and he’s a good friend.  That brings in some other advantages/disadvantages with it as well.  There are other things but I won’t mention those for now, we’ll wait.

I’m just waiting to see what God wants me to do.  I think he took me out of WNY to teach me a few things and brought me back to keep me here for some reason.  I think I’m not going anywhere…I just feel pretty confident in that assumption.  We’ll see what he wants me to do, but for right now I’m just treading the waters very slowly and will take everything into very careful consideration before making a move.

Vintage was great tonight as well, nice to see everyone I know, hear some good preaching, worship a bit, and eat at Applebees as usual  Tomorrow will be an interesting day, as much as I’m glad to have the interview, I’m totally clueless as to what to expect.  Pray for me!

Today was great.  I spent time working on the Parable website after I got up and spent  the majority of the day on and off editing that as I was given notes.  The site is nearly done, and ready for launch.  I’m looking forward to putting this one on my resume.  Around lunchtime I headed to Lewiston because I wanted a subway sub.  The day before I had a Slimfast for two of my meals during the day, and I wanted some real food.  So I get my car washed first and in front of me is the field in Lewiston where the Peach Festival is already setup and ready for use this weekend.  When I pulled out of the car wash I saw some of the guys that travel with it standing outside.  One was a mexican guy on the phone who pulled his shirt up and was rubbing his belly in front of everyone, yuck lol.  I grabbed my sub at subway and headed home.

When I got in the door the house smelled good.  Mom was cooking bacon (which I haven’t had in ages!) and I took a deep breath.  Bacon smells awesome when it’s cooking, I think any man could agree.  She made a huge BLT and there I sat eating my subway sub, lol.  It was good though and for the first time in a while I finished the whole thing.  Afterwards I continued to work on that Parable site until around 6:30 when I headed over to CORE at the church.  What a great time that was.  Lots of people I never would’ve expected to show were there.  It’s funny because last year, it was almost always the same group, and now we’re getting people all the way from Vintage which is a shock to me but a welcomed one.  Derek spoke tonight and did a fantastic job.  He was a little nervous on Tuesday not knowing what he should preach on and waiting for God to give him something, and he did give him something good eventually.  Derek is a good speaker, and I think that’s because he has a lot of passion for what he says.  Not that some others don’t but he communicates that passion well and presents his message in a way that gets your attention.

Afterwards I hung around for a bit and talked to people, all the while resisting the ice cream they had sitting there for a snack with M&M’s and chocolate on it…ugh.  I headed over to Jenny’s party with Jason and got hungry on the way but resisted.  I had this idea in my head I would be getting fast food at 1am…and was fine with that.  The party was great  It was Jenny’s “coming home” party I guess, to welcome her back to NY.  She’s from Germany and went home for a visit so we’re glad to have her back.  Everyone was singing karaoke, and we played this game where you were given a thing, place, statement, etc. and would have to describe it but couldn’t say the actual words and people had to guess what it was before the buzzer went off.  We played that for hours, like 2 and a half I think.  I got some of the worst words possible.  At one point I got “Frick & Frack,” “Xandu,” and “Dagwood Bumstead.”  What the heck is that!  LOL.  Either way good times and me and Jason split at like 12:30 or so.

On the way home I stopped at Burger King for a whopper (mmmm) and Jason went to Taco Bell for some chicken taco he was raving about.  Fast food at 1am…what’s sweeter?  I hadn’t eaten a ton during the day so it was OK  I’m still 200lbs, no big deal ha ha.  Overall the day was great, and tomorrow will be another day of fun and work.  I’ve had a lot of days like that lately and I think it’s starting to grow on me.

I went to Niagara Frontier Bible Church back home since birth, so I’m pretty used to the way things go over there.  Moving to LA back in May was odd because I knew I would be going to a new church, new congregation, new teaching, new everything.  I didn’t end up staying there and had moved back home as most of you know, but now I’m in Memphis for The Grace Card and have yet again another church to call home.  It was just as weird as my first day at Reality LA (church in Hollywood).  I stood around without much to do since I didn’t know anybody.  I said hi to a few folks I had met but for the most part it was awkward.  An usher came up to me and we chatted for a while which was nice.

There were a lot of folks looking at me I think, lol.  No matter, I eventually went to go sit with Joyce (Bradshaw) where she normally sits, the front row…ugh.  Of course I was on the end so your just wide open on the right for people to see you.  I’m still dealing with a lot of paranoia stuff from childhood and it sucks sometimes because I can’t always enjoy myself.  The worship was fun and the message was solid.  I think I’ll like going here until the filming is over.  Afterwards I saw David walking around and talked with him for a moment.  There was a college aged group they have that meets on Sundays so I headed home to just hang out until then.  I was one of the first folks there when I arrived and just played ping pong by myself until folks showed up, lol.  In case your wondering how that’s possible you push the table against a wall

Rob Erickson showed up and we played each other until things started.  He’ll be playing Blake in The Grace Card so it’s nice to start building a friendship there as we’ll be working together a lot in the coming months.  The time with the group was nice as well, just light conversation and laughs as we spoke about the message from the morning.  Afterwards folks were going to play Ultimate Frisbee outside and I didn’t have shoes or anything so I ran to go get them back home.  We didn’t play long but that didn’t mean I wasn’t sweaty.  Running back and forth down a field for 20 minutes will get me going, lol.  Folks were heading to Rob’s house because I guess they all had some trip to go on tomorrow.  Little did I know what everyone was in for.  There was a concrete fireplace that they were going to use all the guys to get off the trailer and setup in the backyard.  Before all that though we were all in Robs kitchen and most folks weren’t there yet so we were just talking.  They asked me questions about what I was doing in Memphis, where I might be going, how I got started in stuff, I showed them pieces of Standing Firm (which they really liked), and talked about the last 2 years or so of my life.  Robs mom was a little upset hearing about the deaths that happened so recently but she was ok

When everyone showed up they started working on this fireplace.  These concrete slabs were hundreds of pounds, with the large enclosure piece of it easily 1000+.  It was hilarious as we slowly figured out how to move this thing and get it where it needed to be.  This was a memory building experience for sure, something I’ll remember for a while, ha ha.

I headed out soon after (it took well over an hour to get that thing put together…and it was only two pieces) and took a shower.  I had powder and crap all over me from the concrete.  I think it’s safe to say I made a lot of friends tonight, which is a good sign.

I wonder where God will want me at the end of the year.  I want to find somewhere I can settle and call home.  Somewhere I can get work and if need be travel from project to project but I still want a home somewhere.  My parents sounded pretty sure that in the next few years or so they’ll probably end up down in GA to live.  They’ll keep the house in NY but my mom will probably head down to Georgia for good sometime in the future.  Nashville wouldn’t be such a crappy place to stay I think.  Odds are most of the work I get will be internet based, or project to project, but it’ll be nice to have a place to come home to that I can call my own.

I was trying to figure out with Kevin (co-owner Praise Pictures Inc., and Co writer/producer of Standing Firm) what we might do for the business.  I have other revenue streams I want to start throwing into a company name but Praise Pictures is in NY and all sorta of other annoying things.  I’ll have to figure all this out soon so I can get start being smarter about where my money goes and why.  It’s tough because I don’t want to leave NY, I love the people there.  There just aren’t any jobs up there…not for someone like me.  Even if I travel for some jobs, I’ll be so much farther away up there.  I have a better shot at getting jobs more local in Nashville than I do back home.  Thousands of people leave the Buffalo area per year, and that makes a lot of sense.  I’ll miss everyone a lot  I don’t know, just trying to figure out where God wants me to go more permanently.  I don’t want to be packing my car every few months for very much longer, it’s a really crappy way to live.  Your never somewhere long enough to invest in people very much.  I’ll certainly never get to date anybody if I plan on leaving a month after I arrive somewhere, right?  We’ll see what happens in the next few months, I’ll get an answer sometime.

Today I got quite a bit of work done, thank goodness.  I got working late last night on a new website for Standing Firm and within the last 24 hours came up with something really special.  You’ll all love it when it’s done. I think I finally found a concept that fits the film we have…after all this time.  Shaun Smith needed to come over today so we could work on the website for the Niagara Gospel Rescue Mission.  We just saw and threw around ideas and got working on a banner and a page.

I was pretty hungry so later on we headed to Lewiston to eat at the Brickyard.  Jason Myers came along which was an unexpected surprise.  He called right around the time we were heading over there so it was perfect.  As we sat and ate I was a little uncomfortable because of where we were sitting.  Everyone seemed to be staring and I felt like I was being observed.  I really hate it when that happens.  You think in your peripherals that someone is looking at you but you can’t turn your head to actually make eye contact.  It’s just awkward.

Afterwards they both came back to the house to work on the Gospel site.  Jason just sorta sat and watched and threw in his 2 cents as we started making it.  It was a fun time and they were there until later at night.  I spent the end of my day continuing to work on the Standing Firm website and completed about half of it by bedtime.  I can’t wait to get it up and running, it’s very slick.

G’night folks, church tomorrow!

I sat in church today in the back, after greeting with a lot of people.  Something I have noticed since I got back from California…I’m so much happier.  Not because of where I am, but because of who I am.  It’s incredible what one month can do to an individual.  I’m a lot more outgoing than I ever have been before.  I’m smiling a lot more, and so many other things.  Neil Neumann spoke today instead of Pastor Billy who is on vacation.  There I sat in my seat listening to this guy preach, a man I’ve known since birth just like many others in our congregation.  I’ve said it before, but NFBC is my family.  I got pretty teary during Neil’s sermon just looking at him up there giving the Truth loud and hard.  I had so much admiration for him while he was up there.  I’ve been feeling it since I got home, how much I love this place and how much I love my friends/family.  They all mean the world to me, every single one.  Pastor, Rich, Neil, Mark (and the rest of the Neumanns), The Ortmans, Brad & Jen, The Larsons, Gary, Cooper (whether he’s here or not), and everyone else that knows me at the church and has for many years.  I don’t know if I could ever leave here for good, it would be very hard.  I mean seriously who says I have to be somewhere else to make movies?  This is a movie depraved community…and state for that matter.  Besides New York City nobody really comes to shoot here.  Free game in my opinion, mine for the taking if it be God’s Will.  Whatever he wants, I’m His.

Kevin came over today and we spoke about the possible future of the film, what we need to do in the next few months, etc.  There is a lot to do in a short amount of time with a lot of unknowns that God is going to have to take care of, and he’s pretty good at doing that.  We trust Him to take care of the things we can’t do ourselves.  Not that we can really truly do anything without his help, but you catch my point.  This is all God now, besides what I’m able to do with the edit and a basic sound mix, it’s up to God to do something big to help us complete this film.  We’ve known this for a long time.  That includes a budget for a score, something we don’t have money for right now.  God has control…always does, always did.

When it comes to doing my part on the film, about half the film is in great shape, and the rest is in good shape, with only one scene left that needs some serious attention.  I get closer and closer everyday to getting this film where I want it, and I couldn’t be happier.

I read the first 40 pages of The Grace Card today and I have to say I’m extremely excited.  I like the characters, I like the story, I like the situations within the first 30 minutes or so of the film, and some of the differences I see in the script that are missing from most Christian films.  We’re on the right track to creating something great, I can feel it.  As much as I’ve talked about it, I don’t think it’s hit me yet what I’m really about to do.  I’m about to head to Memphis in a month and a half to help produce a film of a pretty big budget compared to Standing Firm (which is my first film and that makes this opportunity even more incredible) and add a potentially great film onto my “resume.”  That’s a pretty exciting time for someone who is 21.  Thank you God for this Blessing.  Why He is using me, I don’t know…I’m just along for the ride.

Tomorrow I’ll just continue working on the edit and start working on some of the scenes remaining.  Besides the edits I’ve been laying in ADR and doing some basic mixing for the film.  I’m also laying in temporary music for every scene I think needs it, giving the film a life it didn’t have before.  A scene I added a song into today instantly became 200% better with the music added, as the entire scene was basically visual with a voice over.  It’s great to see some of the scenes I had worried about work so well, thank you Jesus.

Things are going well, I’m just taking it one day at a time.