Life of Kyle Prohaska

On May 24th, 2009…my best friend Mike Cooper passed away.  It was a shot to be sure, and only days before I was supposed to move to California for a job I was offered.  He died one day before his birthday, the 25th.  He was such an awesome man of God, and had no shame in showing it.  There are few I would consider a really great friend, and Cooper was all aces.  See you in Glory Coop, I miss you man…

Today was an OK day, nothing I would call ground breaking.  It was HOT…high 70s, maybe 80 or so.  With the computer on, and the monitors I have, it can get up to like 80-90 in my bedroom.  I woke up a few hours earlier than I wanted to this morning because of the heat, I was just too sweaty and sticky.  I figured I would feel like crap later because this was supposed to be my day to sleep in after a long weekend…but that didn’t work out.  So I just got to work on some things but it wasn’t long before I started feeling ill.  The last week has been very odd.  Since last Tuesday everything I eat isn’t settling well, I’m tired and fatigued, etc.  Today was worse though because it combined all that with dizziness and such.  I’ve been trying to drink a lot of water, as I’m sure the heat isn’t helping.  I had to take a nap, because my eyes were hurting pretty bad.  Thankfully I was able to fall asleep for 2 hours.  I NEVER take naps because my body normally doesn’t let me.  After I got up I worked on some things for a little while longer and a friend invited me to a bonfire so I spent the night over there.  It was good times, but I did occasionally feel like I was gonna either fall over or vomit, which is always a good time.

On a good note, I seemed to get a lot of emails today.  They were spammy they were important.  People I’ve been speaking to about foreign distribution for Standing Firm and such.  We’ll see where we land there, it’s a lot to think about and deal with.  I have a few different offers per country that I”m looking at, and it’s difficult to figure out which one offers the best options, and which one is likely to sell more because of their status.  I’ll get it figured out sooner or later…it just takes time.  Lord willing Standing Firm will release (at a minimum) in Australia/New Zealand, and in South Africa around or on the same day as the US/Canada release.

May is coming to a close soon, my 22nd birthday is on the 2nd of June, and I have a lot of work to do.  June is going to be an insane month.  Lots of things to mail off and work will finally (hopefully) be picking up in regards to the movie, and normal paying jobs.  It’s really difficult to know where I”m going to be in the next few years.  The biggest challenge for someone like myself is how to make enough money to provide for a family when your not apart of some sort of organization, or protected under some sort of special law, or your in a system that makes sure you get paid, etc.  It’s all about you being your own boss, dealing with your own crap, finding your own clients…just a lot more involved.  I really hope the proceeds from the film for this year can help me into next and the majority can be kept in the bank.  It’ll give me a very good foothold on the future I think, by letting me get ahead by a good amount (compared to my monthly intake/expenses).  That’ll be good because next year is a total ? mark.

I look forward to taking more work once this movie is in the can and things get moving in the sales arena.  I can take work that’s out of state or on a set for instance (which I had to turn down for Ace Wonder unfortunately).  I’ll have more freedom.  I’ve had many ask me when I’ll make another film and honestly, I don’t know.  The soonest I will is probably 2012.  I doubt I’ll always be pumping out another film one after another, because I’m not entirely sure how to go about making another where I currently live.  I’ll need to spend some time writing it as well, and really concentrate on what’s important.  The goal here with these blogs, twitter accounts, the marketing and web work, and all that jazz is to make a career that can survive outside of making films.  What I do is still very much in the filmmaking arena, but I can’t make films for a living right now.  I need to finish this one first, and show that I can actually make something that can make a profit, because no investor will touch me if that isn’t the case.  I can’t make another film without being able to pay myself for it, because next time around it’ll be a much faster and efficient process, but I’ll also need to give it my full attention, and that can’t be done unless I can be paid to do it.  A chunk of the budget has to go to myself.  That’s fair I think, lol…given how many jobs I’ll likely do in the future even if I remove some of the on-set jobs…the post ones will probably stay in my court.  It saves me THOUSANDS in the long run, because I don’t have to pay myself what I would probably have to pay a hired individual to say…edit my film.

I’m looking forward to the future…

I wrote a little note to my friends on Facebook.  Just a goodbye and clearing the air type of thing.  I really have some wonderful friends that God has Blessed me with, and I’m very sad to be leaving them.  Losing Cooper put a lot in perspective, as did the many other folks who I know that passed away the last two years.  I don’t want to leave everybody this time without me getting my shot to let them know what they mean to me…

http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=144110215324&ref=mf

This is a video I did last year when the youth group had their pie night.  You got an extra pie if you brought a friend.  It was hilarious to record.  I was just sitting in my office and figured, what the heck…I had a camera I might as well make use of it!  Came out great, lol.  RIP Coop, we miss you buddy.

I had two graduation parties today.  The first one was around 3pm and was for The Whitton Clan as a lot of people affectionally call them.  Unfortunately it decided to rain a lot today.  We were under a tent thank goodness.  I finally got to speak to Pastor Billy for the first time since I got back.  He went on vacation as soon as I got home so it’s been hard to stay in touch.  I got him up to speed on everything that’s been going on and that really pleased him to hear it all.  The Grace Card had him very excited as well.  Eventually I got out of there and headed to party number two.  It was odd because I didn’t know many people but eventually some folks I knew showed up.  The party slowed down for a bit when someone I know busted two of his teeth on a trampoline.  He took off one of his front teeth and broke the second in half…very painful.  It wasn’t pretty, the poor guy :/  The rest of the party was just chatting and fun stuff until later in the night when I eventually left.  I got home and down a hotdog or two because I was really hungry.  The rest of my time was spent on the movie’s website which is coming along really well.  I’m happy to report it’s very close to finished.  One thing I came up with today might really change the attention our film gets in regards to the Christian community.  I can’t tell you what it is but I spoke to a friend of mine and he assured me it was a great idea.  Hopefully I can get it into motion, because it would be really big for the movie I think.

Later on I worked on a video for Standing Firm of our Pastor’s Interview.  It’s really good stuff that I think will motivate some people to spread the word about our film.  I put in some footage of Mike Cooper over some of the speaking and it just made me start crying really hard.  Coop was one of my best friends ever, and a true brother for me.  I’m an only child and there are very few people I told absolutely everything to and Cooper was one of them.  He probably knew more about me than any of my other friends.  Tears just wouldn’t quit, they’re still coming down a little bit.  What an amazing guy and a great friend, I miss you man…so much.

I think if there is one thing that will motivate people to really share this film, it’s going to be the RAW emotion they feel when they see some of these interviews.  Everyone can relate to these kinds of problems and losing people you love.  I really hope the Christian community gets behind us on this film, because I want others to see this message so badly it makes me weep.  Every time I open the edit of the film it just reminds me of those I’ve lost…it’s rough.

The message of this film is so important…so unbelievably important, even the Christian community out there I think is unprepared for the emotional bombshell we have to drop in their lap.  It’s going to be incredible.  Lord please let me see just one decision for Christ, just one email about victory in death because of this film…it’s all I want.  Help me to finish this, bring us a budget for a score or an investor…PLEASE.

I sat in church today in the back, after greeting with a lot of people.  Something I have noticed since I got back from California…I’m so much happier.  Not because of where I am, but because of who I am.  It’s incredible what one month can do to an individual.  I’m a lot more outgoing than I ever have been before.  I’m smiling a lot more, and so many other things.  Neil Neumann spoke today instead of Pastor Billy who is on vacation.  There I sat in my seat listening to this guy preach, a man I’ve known since birth just like many others in our congregation.  I’ve said it before, but NFBC is my family.  I got pretty teary during Neil’s sermon just looking at him up there giving the Truth loud and hard.  I had so much admiration for him while he was up there.  I’ve been feeling it since I got home, how much I love this place and how much I love my friends/family.  They all mean the world to me, every single one.  Pastor, Rich, Neil, Mark (and the rest of the Neumanns), The Ortmans, Brad & Jen, The Larsons, Gary, Cooper (whether he’s here or not), and everyone else that knows me at the church and has for many years.  I don’t know if I could ever leave here for good, it would be very hard.  I mean seriously who says I have to be somewhere else to make movies?  This is a movie depraved community…and state for that matter.  Besides New York City nobody really comes to shoot here.  Free game in my opinion, mine for the taking if it be God’s Will.  Whatever he wants, I’m His.

Kevin came over today and we spoke about the possible future of the film, what we need to do in the next few months, etc.  There is a lot to do in a short amount of time with a lot of unknowns that God is going to have to take care of, and he’s pretty good at doing that.  We trust Him to take care of the things we can’t do ourselves.  Not that we can really truly do anything without his help, but you catch my point.  This is all God now, besides what I’m able to do with the edit and a basic sound mix, it’s up to God to do something big to help us complete this film.  We’ve known this for a long time.  That includes a budget for a score, something we don’t have money for right now.  God has control…always does, always did.

When it comes to doing my part on the film, about half the film is in great shape, and the rest is in good shape, with only one scene left that needs some serious attention.  I get closer and closer everyday to getting this film where I want it, and I couldn’t be happier.

I read the first 40 pages of The Grace Card today and I have to say I’m extremely excited.  I like the characters, I like the story, I like the situations within the first 30 minutes or so of the film, and some of the differences I see in the script that are missing from most Christian films.  We’re on the right track to creating something great, I can feel it.  As much as I’ve talked about it, I don’t think it’s hit me yet what I’m really about to do.  I’m about to head to Memphis in a month and a half to help produce a film of a pretty big budget compared to Standing Firm (which is my first film and that makes this opportunity even more incredible) and add a potentially great film onto my “resume.”  That’s a pretty exciting time for someone who is 21.  Thank you God for this Blessing.  Why He is using me, I don’t know…I’m just along for the ride.

Tomorrow I’ll just continue working on the edit and start working on some of the scenes remaining.  Besides the edits I’ve been laying in ADR and doing some basic mixing for the film.  I’m also laying in temporary music for every scene I think needs it, giving the film a life it didn’t have before.  A scene I added a song into today instantly became 200% better with the music added, as the entire scene was basically visual with a voice over.  It’s great to see some of the scenes I had worried about work so well, thank you Jesus.

Things are going well, I’m just taking it one day at a time.

The past 7 days have been pretty tough on everyone around me.  There are so many things that have gone wrong recently, serious and not so much.  The anniversary of my grandmas death was last week, her birthday is this weekend.  Mike Cooper, one of my best friends passed away on Sunday.  My sunroof broke the day before I’m supposed to leave and left me with a couple hundred dollar bill because of my own stupidity.  On my last day in ministry, the online server hosted by GoDaddy.com crashed and we lost everything.  The media computer also at work that our distribution worker uses to print labels and such crashed as well so the C Drive is shot and needs replacement.  My 19in CRT monitor also is on the verge of death as well so I had to run to the church to get the other one that I said I would give to them, oi.  Lots of crap going on…

I’m finally packed up pretty good and this is the last thing this MacPro will send out from NYS.  I’m about to box it up and get it into my car.  I just recorded the last piece of ADR before I get out of here.  I hope that I’m not missing anything, and if I am…I guess they’ll be some plane tickets in my actors future.

Time to finish packing and go to bed.  God Bless, pray for me as I travel 2800 miles in the next 3-4 days.  NY has served me well since I was a kid, but it’s time to move on.  Brad, Jen, and Ben were over earlier and Kevin stopped by to say hi.  Brad and Jen just got back from Jamaica on vacation which is awesome.  I love those two so much, they make me smile.  Brad is my best friend and I care about him very much.  When they both left today I started crying, I couldn’t help it.  I’m really going to miss those two.  Brad is one of those friends that I could pick things back up with really far down the road without much effort.  I’ll miss everyone…I love you all.

This is Kyle, signing off…for the last time as a NY resident.  Farewell, wish me luck.

I got up at like 9am today, after one heck of a day previously.  I began packing things and getting stuff together again.  Early in the morning I shot the last interview for the film.  It was my moms turn and we got it done in a few hours.  It takes a lot of time to set things up yourself.  I’m glad we got it done and out of the way.  I went upstairs to find my monitor dying on me so I had to go get the other one I own at the church.  On my way back I stopped at Subway to get my last Sub.  The lady in there is awesome and so are the guys that work there.  I’ve been going in there almost every workday for over 2 years.  She gave me my last sub for free, what awesome people they are.  I hope they’re still there when I visit.

When I got home, things went bad.  I pulled the sunshade on my sunroof too hard and it went over the lip it’s supposed to be on.  My sunroof would NOT close.  I got so angry when I realized what I had done.  There was no way to fix it.  I even tried a few small things to get it working but couldn’t.  My right hand is all swollen from working on it for an hour but I didn’t get anywhere.  I can’t leave tomorrow.  I gotta take my car in and have it fixed.  I also found out I have expired insurance cards in my car, so now I have to have those faxed to me tomorrow when I call.  Looks like I gotta stay for now, what a crappy day today.  I was steaming earlier when all that happened.  I feel a bit better now but man was I ready to go (mentally not physically).  Whatever, all of this is unexpected.  I don’t even know what a stupid insurance card is (the thing in my glovebox).  All this crap is new for me, first car, first time driving cross country, first close friend dying, etc.  It all sucks…

Today was a difficult day for more reasons than one, the latter being the worst.  I went to my last day at NFBC today.  It was odd going in there not going in to tape the sermon.  I found myself walking around, not sure what to do since I wasn’t busy.  It’s funny how used to things you get.  Like Pastor sitting in a pew on Sunday instead of preaching, he would probably feel like he should be doing something lol.  I said goodbye to everyone and enjoyed the service which was great.  It’s an interesting angle to see Pastor at, instead of way back in the sound booth.  The service was on being a testimony.  Afterwards I showed the congregation the first 5 minutes of Standing Firm which everyone seemed to like.  It went by fast and I wasn’t able to finish anymore of the film to show.  It was ironic that the part of the film I was showing was a funeral, which had A LOT to do with Pastors sermon which talked about death almost 75% of the time.  Little did I know just how ironic all of that would be come later in the day.

I went to the Larson’s for lunch and enjoyed the fellowship (and the food of course).  Ben Larson is a good friend of mine, one I don’t plan on dropping out of touch with.  He is a huge example to me dealing with CF (Cistic Fibrosis).  I love his family and it was great for them to invite me and my parents over to eat.  Afterwards I went to the Ashby’s who normally have a Memorial Day get together.  I saw a bunch of folks from Vintage I hadn’t planned on seeing again so that was great.  We also played volleyball which was AWESOME.  I was so happy to redeem myself after yesterdays disgraceful game.  We won, and it was a blast!  I left soon after to go home.

When I got in I captured the footage from my party and began to edit, but my parents called me downstairs to tell me that one of my best friends Mike Cooper, was in an “accident.”  None of us knew what that meant until I called Scott Ortman and Gary picked up the phone instead.  I sat there in my computer chair thinking it was a car accident.  When someone is about to tell you something bad, every second feels like an hour.  Gary calmly told me that Cooper was gone, and we had lost him.  He fell at the Niagara Gorge while walking around.  My dad came upstairs and I just stared at my phone.  ”He died.” I said.  I just sat there still and in shock.  I didn’t even feel sad yet I was just numb from head to toe.  We went downstairs to tell my mom but by the time we got into the kitchen someone on the phone was already telling her.  We all hugged and just stood there stupefied.  I decided right away that I wasn’t going to leave for CA…not tomorrow anyways.  I quickly got in my car and went back to the Ashby’s.  I cried a lot on the way there, I couldn’t help it.

When I got there it was really weird.  The party was a lot quieter and everyone that had found out was just quietly talking and sitting around.  It was odd coming to a totally different party after being there just an hour or so earlier.  I hugged Justin Gillmore (a good friend and high school buddy) and cried on his shoulder.  It really took someone hugging me for me to lose it.  I couldn’t take seeing Gil’s face breaking, it broke me even worse.  We all just talked for a while and I walked around the yard just thinking.  Later we all were in a circle to pray and it was great.  We were praying for comfort and for the salvation of Coop’s lost family.  The mosquitos were so annoying when that was going on.  I was so mentally messed up that each time I got bit it just made me 500% more angry than it should’ve.  I wanted to leave really bad.  Luckily we did get out of there in a decent amount of time and we went up to Buffalo to hang out at Ben Palka’s house.  Everybody knows Coop, absolutely everyone.  I’m honored to know him (not HAVE known him, he’s not gone).  He was such a big inspiration to so many and helped shape so many of my friends into who they are today.  What a TESTIMONY he was.  

It also came to my attention that his profile picture on Facebook was a picture from mine and his farewell luncheon just a week prior.  That made me feel so good seeing that fun picture there, it’ll be there forever…what a Blessing.  I also got a lot of footage of him at my party yesterday so I hope it comes out good.  It’s the last time we all were hanging out with him.

It’s been a tough day, and I’m torn whether or not to leave or stay.  I think it’ll be harder to stay then try and leave.  At which point is it OK for me to go?  When will I feel good enough to leave?  I don’t think that time will come.  I also think Cooper would tell me to go, so I think I’m just going to leave as planned.

Rough day, but a Blessed day.  Your with the King man, nothing sweeter than that!  Have fun up there!  I’ll see you later!