Today was an odd day.  I was fighting two different feelings all day.  I went to church at Reality LA for a second time and sat alone towards the middle.  The message was great and it was the first time I got to hear the lead pastor there.  I’ve listened to him on podcast so I had a good idea of what I was in for, but seeing him in person made it very different.  The message really hit home with me as it was about using your gifts.  I loved the worship and everything afterwards but I’m still not comfortable there.  I feel like I did at Vintage in NY the first year or so.  I’m pretty insecure honestly when it comes to new places, especially if there are tons of people around my age there.  I feel weird, like everyone is looking at me, etc.  The whole insecurity thing that I’ve had for a long time.  I shed it eventually in new places but today was just plain weird.  When I left service I didn’t know who to talk to, I just stood there in my suit coat staring at groups of people wondering who to go after.  I finally found some people I know to say hello to and chat it up a little bit.  I’ve met some really great people in the last week.  There are so many attractive girls out here, it’s ridiculous.  Pastor Tim talked about singleness today as one of the gifts we have.  It is a gift for sure.  You can do so much as a single adult that goes away when your married or have kids.  I do find myself more and more hoping for that special someone to come along.  I think part of it is I really want someone I can share things with and get to know on a deeper level.  I have yet to really open up to anyone about a lot of things, whether it be my parents, close friends, etc.  I really can’t wait for that time to come.  I look forward to having someone to cherish, share things with, listen to (important part there), etc.  It’s going to be great.  Singleness is indeed a gift and it’s not a gift I want to return to sender either, but I just hope it doesn’t take a long time to find someone.  I’m 21 I know, calm yourself…I realize I have plenty of time.  I just don’t want to get married at 30.  If it’s Gods Will I wait that long or longer, then fine.  There’s nothing wrong with a healthy sense of hope and longing though  Your out there somewhere!

I found myself wanting to go do something today but didn’t know what, and there was nobody to call really.   Everyone I knew was going to the service after the one I went to (I went to 9am), so I was kinda stuck.  Eventually I left after meeting some nice new people I hope to see next week, and headed home.  I took some wrong turns on purpose just to see some of Hollywood.  I think on the way home is when I felt more comfortable.  The rest of the day was very relaxing.  I actually like driving in LA.  Just like driving at night (it’s magical here) I love driving on the highway here.  When you hit traffic it kinda sucks but beyond that I like the drive.  It’s nice weather, your tunes playing, it’s the weekend, your hair is moving in the wind, etc.  It’s nice.  Not having anywhere to really be is nice too, just cruising

When I got home I got into more comfortable attire, and watched a movie.  I picked Titanic since I hadn’t seen the whole thing in years.  Now I remember why I liked that movie so much.  I have seen it dozens of times, and this time it was just as great to watch.  The film might be a little old fashioned in terms of some cliche used, but it’s a beautiful movie.  While watching I just surfed the net, talked to some folks, cleaned up my room a little, etc.  I cleaned my bathroom a little bit to get some dust off of the things I hadn’t cleaned yet since I got there.  Dust doesn’t collect here like it did at home, having a 100 year old house has it’s share of downsides.  You dust something off, wait 5 minutes…and it’s back.  Here you vacuum, dust and wipe things off…and they stay that way for a while.  I also went into the kitchen and cleaned the sink, counters, stove, etc.   It really needed it and looks nice and shiny now  I didn’t do much the rest of the day besides sit around.  I went to Sushimon for some food to bring back home.  I like that place and the food is good.  I used to have this dislike of Chinese/Japanese, etc. food because the places always seemed dirty and shady to me.  This place is clean, the people are nice, and the food is good.  I’m getting more and more situated here as time goes on.  Driving without the GPS definitely makes you feel a bit more grounded.  I just hopped in my car to go get some food at a place I knew of, which is a new thing since I got here.  I’m still punching addresses into my GPS to find things I need.  This time I just got dressed, got in my car, and cruised down the road to get food.  Window down again, music playing, all that stuff.  Today definitely felt like a relaxing weekend type of day.  Yesterday really felt more like a work day with all the errands, traffic, etc. until the day was over and I got to visit with people and see a movie…then it was good.

I also worked on the edit a little for Standing Firm.  It was the first time in a few weeks since we finished shooting.  I captured the last shooting days footage and did a rough edit of the main scene we did.  It was Kevin’s cameo and I think he did a pretty good job.  I knew he could do it!  That leaves just 2 more scenes to finish before I have a first rough cut of the entire film.  Some stuff missing of course but every scene will have a rough edit of some kind once I get those two done.  It’ll be nice to finally sit and see the whole thing from beginning to end, regardless of what is left to do.

Overall a pretty good day.  I look forward to meeting one of the other managing partners of PureFlix this week.  His name is Mike Scott.  I already met David White last week, and Byron while I was in NY.  I’m not sure if you guys knew this but one of the other partners is Randy Travis (yes the country music star).  Russell Wolfe is in AZ at their main offices.  Hopefully I’ll get to meet him someday, perhaps on the set of a movie they do if he ever stars in one again.  Who knows, time will tell.  So what is my impression of the job so far?  It’s hard to say.  I have a pretty boring film on my hands right now at work, with really tough to do VFX shots that I have to finish, and I’ll be completing the edit and coloring the film really quickly this week because Bryon wants it released soon.  It’s hard to say what I think of the job at the moment.  I haven’t had a lot to do honestly since I got there, and nobody but Vance and Brittany have really been there to give me things.  Perhaps things will change a little once Mike gets back in the office.  I think it’ll take a few months of doing to really find out if I could stay for a while or not.  For right now I’m sticking with it, doing the best I can, and that’s all I can do.