Life of Kyle Prohaska

What a day…phew what a day.  You ever have those days where you feel your emotional tank was full and by the end of the day it’s just empty?  Sheesh today was angry, excited, sad, frustrated, annoyed, happy, at peace then shaken…good grief.  My mom makes these big salads out of all the leftovers in the fridge.  They end up like 8in high and full of every kind of food you can imagine…with a little lettuce put in there, haha.  I felt like my emotional life today was like that salad, a little of everything.

God brought along a Blessing today with a song for our end credits.  I’ve emailed the creators and I’m really hoping for a good response.  This song is incredible.  I think it’s my favorite Christian song now.  I’ll tell you who/what later.  I was so out of my mind excited when I came across this song.  I’ve listened to quite a few from many bands trying to hunt down something that will even work…and within about 8 seconds I knew it was right.  It started off exactly how I needed it to emotionally and the song just got better as it went.  Truth be told it got my emotions flowing a bit, not just how awesome the song was but that I had found it.  There are so many unsure things that come along making a film.  I’m still waiting on an answer for the middle of the film where we need an original song and the guy that’s looking at the film either tonight or tomorrow night that could be our answer.  That’s going to be so important…keeping my fingers crossed.

Watching the credits a few times over and listening to this song I broke down after seeing my friend Coopers spot on the dedication list at the end.  For those of you who don’t know, Cooper is a friend of mine who died almost a year ago now.  He’s one of over a dozen people that passed while this film was being made.  Some of them closer than others, but all of them were connected to church family in some way.  I really miss my friend.  I think what finally broke me was the image in my mind when I see Coopers face in heaven, and I imagined this wonderful but sorta cheesy moment where I laugh and give him a big hug.  I’m actually getting choked up thinking about it again lol.

The main message of that song is that God has overcome all.  That didn’t help the fact I was crying already because naturally I was thankful for finding it, feeling Blessed, at the same time missing my friend, and in the midst of all that just thinking about the Gospel and how God gave himself up for me so that I might live.  This jacked up sinner from a small town that nobody knows about, and he’s using me for His purposes.  That’s crazy folks lets just be honest.  I’m glad I break down like this every so often because it should never get old what God did.  It’s appropriate too with Easter coming soon that I had been thinking about this today.  Not a single drop fell in vain.  I had an immense debt to pay, Christ stepped in and said “here…I’ll pay.”  I didn’t deserve it, and couldn’t do anything to pay back my debt.  God basically said “I know that’s why I’m here…because I love you and your worth the cost.”  That’s something that should never get old folks…ever.  People who get all bent out of shape because the preacher up there at their college group or sunday night won’t stop talking about the gospel, lol.  Seriously?  I mean let me be honest, I love movies…I love music, I love people and chocolate and fast cars and blue skies and an awesome sunset or sports, but compared to the gospel…it’s ALL TRASH.  It all counts for nothing, but the gospel counts for everything.

No matter what happens in this life, God has overcome.  He beat it!  It’s over!  He won!  He sits at the top above all, and nobody can question his authority.  There’s no re-match, there wasn’t even a match.

I’ve got plenty on my mind lately, understandably.  What needs to be done to finish the film?  What do I need to do to help make that happen?  What are the factors I can’t do anything about that I need to just pray about lol?  What about money and how to pay for the things that I don’t have investment money for like subtitles? (I have enough to get english and spanish but now I had a phone call from Quebec today and a guy wanted to know if it was going to be available in French…that’s another $1500 bucks…where’s that gonna come from?)  Is there anything I can do to market the film better with what resources I have available?  What about the jobs I have that actually keep me alive right now…am I doing those the best I can for those that pay me best?  After this year, how will I make money?  Both of the jobs I have now might not be available next year, one of them for sure actually…so what can I do now to pursue a fruitful 2011 without driving myself batty?

It’s funny how women get this trophy for being multi-taskers.  I think just the singular issue of providing as a man has enough multitasking in it for anybody to handle.  Ah well…tis life.  Just pressing towards the goal, looking for any side jobs that are available, trying to finish my film and save as much money as I can so I have a nest-egg for next year, etc. etc.  Always busy doing something!

Also thanks to all who read here.  I read this today: “Your blog is one of the most encouraging things I read these days.”  That’s a real encouragement back to me knowing people actually grow in someway from what I write here, even in the days where I feel what I put down is worthless.  God uses it all in some way I hope.  Please leave comments if you don’t yet, I want to hear from you guys and interact!

Blessings!

Life isn’t easy, it never is.  Jesus never said it was going to be, he just assured us that whatever was going on in life, he had overcome it already.  Comforting words, but far too often I forget and because of that I fail.  I’ve been in a bit of a depression the past few days.  Just bummed out, tired emotionally, spiritually, etc.  Sorta closed off, I’ve been pretty quiet.  Even at Vintage tonight during the message and my e-groups after I just felt really dead, like somebody had performed a lobotomy on me in my sleep…ugh.  I’m feeling a bit better now, nothing a good dose of JC can’t fix He fights for me when I or the enemy gets in the way…thank goodness or we’d all be toast.

Work and such is moving along fine.  There are some quibbles about some things, but I’ll keep my mouth shut.  Things are fine, and working at home is a Blessing so I have no right to complain.  I’m looking at my bank account and I’m pretty amazed at what God has done to help me financially since Dec.  It’s amazing, and it’s going to help me finish Standing Firm which is even more amazing.  I’ll be taking a chunk out of the investment money soon here as I get a new G-Raid for my computer.  I own a 1TB version of it already that holds the Standing Firm files, but I need a new 4TB version…yes you heard me, FOUR TB.  I’ll need it for when I go to Texas in a month or two so I can continue to work on any stuff if I have to or get to any critical files.  That 4TB will allow me to backup all my files on my computer, then take it with me, then when I get back, replace what’s on my computer here via the backup and switch to using the files on my home computer.  Sound confusing?  O well, lol.  Either way it’ll make me feel better to know I can backup EVERYTHING and stick this thing in a drawer every week or so.  It’ll also free up HD space on my computer itself so I don’t have to use my other TB drive in here as a backup anymore.  Yay!

Standing Firm’s color-correction is going very well.  It took me a while to get my monitors all setup properly today to keep on going but that’s ok.  I’ve gone back through the first reel and fine tuned things.  Basically I have 4 places to view the film at one time.  I have my computer LCD, a CRT Production Monitor, a normal SD TV, and my 50in Plasma for HD viewing when I feel like it.  I plugged in the normal SD TV because I need to see it as an in-between for the Production Monitor and Plasma.  Color-correction isn’t so much a “get it right” process…it’s more of a “get it close/satisfying” process.  There is no way to know that what your looking at will work for every persons TV, so you have to strike a good balance of levels, rely on your scopes, and be conservative.  My Production Monitor even when properly calibrated as well looks a little off so I’m glad I have these other sources to judge between as a point of reference.  Some of the CC is pretty difficult, particularly the church interiors.  The walls are a creme color that has all sorts of different light on it like tungsten, fluorescent, and daylight…all of which have different color-temps so getting the walls to match has been a challenge.  The church scenes above all are a nightmare because the pieces to them were shot in different days/months/years/seasons.  It’s all over the place.  But with the magic of editing, everything looks like one place/time Awesome…

Please be in prayer for the film and it’s completion.  Pray for promotion of the film, that all the stuff I got cooking (and that God has cooking that I don’t know about) would go along smoothly and be helpful to the films success and sales.  Also pray we strike a deal sometime in the next few months with a vendor that can take the film to the CBA, CBD, etc. markets (nationwide bookstores).  This would be our ticket to securing a release date and likely doing well financially.  We’ll see what God does!  I gotta get a disc in the mail to the one guy I have in mind.  Also there is a guy named Benji who is going to try and write a song for the middle montage of the film.  There was a Third Day song in there but the cost is just too great to use.  I need something powerful and of quality.  I also need music for the end credits possibly and another portion of the film so please pray that I find music that is good and cheap to use.  Money isn’t exactly growing on trees for this film, never was, lol.  One last thing, my sound-mixer and composer have a lot going on in their lives and need as much prayer as they can get.  Pray their efforts on the film are done with the utmost dedication to the Lord yielding a powerful result.  Thanks everyone!  There is much to pray for!

Lots going on…your support is appreciated.

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