What a day…phew what a day.  You ever have those days where you feel your emotional tank was full and by the end of the day it’s just empty?  Sheesh today was angry, excited, sad, frustrated, annoyed, happy, at peace then shaken…good grief.  My mom makes these big salads out of all the leftovers in the fridge.  They end up like 8in high and full of every kind of food you can imagine…with a little lettuce put in there, haha.  I felt like my emotional life today was like that salad, a little of everything.

God brought along a Blessing today with a song for our end credits.  I’ve emailed the creators and I’m really hoping for a good response.  This song is incredible.  I think it’s my favorite Christian song now.  I’ll tell you who/what later.  I was so out of my mind excited when I came across this song.  I’ve listened to quite a few from many bands trying to hunt down something that will even work…and within about 8 seconds I knew it was right.  It started off exactly how I needed it to emotionally and the song just got better as it went.  Truth be told it got my emotions flowing a bit, not just how awesome the song was but that I had found it.  There are so many unsure things that come along making a film.  I’m still waiting on an answer for the middle of the film where we need an original song and the guy that’s looking at the film either tonight or tomorrow night that could be our answer.  That’s going to be so important…keeping my fingers crossed.

Watching the credits a few times over and listening to this song I broke down after seeing my friend Coopers spot on the dedication list at the end.  For those of you who don’t know, Cooper is a friend of mine who died almost a year ago now.  He’s one of over a dozen people that passed while this film was being made.  Some of them closer than others, but all of them were connected to church family in some way.  I really miss my friend.  I think what finally broke me was the image in my mind when I see Coopers face in heaven, and I imagined this wonderful but sorta cheesy moment where I laugh and give him a big hug.  I’m actually getting choked up thinking about it again lol.

The main message of that song is that God has overcome all.  That didn’t help the fact I was crying already because naturally I was thankful for finding it, feeling Blessed, at the same time missing my friend, and in the midst of all that just thinking about the Gospel and how God gave himself up for me so that I might live.  This jacked up sinner from a small town that nobody knows about, and he’s using me for His purposes.  That’s crazy folks lets just be honest.  I’m glad I break down like this every so often because it should never get old what God did.  It’s appropriate too with Easter coming soon that I had been thinking about this today.  Not a single drop fell in vain.  I had an immense debt to pay, Christ stepped in and said “here…I’ll pay.”  I didn’t deserve it, and couldn’t do anything to pay back my debt.  God basically said “I know that’s why I’m here…because I love you and your worth the cost.”  That’s something that should never get old folks…ever.  People who get all bent out of shape because the preacher up there at their college group or sunday night won’t stop talking about the gospel, lol.  Seriously?  I mean let me be honest, I love movies…I love music, I love people and chocolate and fast cars and blue skies and an awesome sunset or sports, but compared to the gospel…it’s ALL TRASH.  It all counts for nothing, but the gospel counts for everything.

No matter what happens in this life, God has overcome.  He beat it!  It’s over!  He won!  He sits at the top above all, and nobody can question his authority.  There’s no re-match, there wasn’t even a match.

I’ve got plenty on my mind lately, understandably.  What needs to be done to finish the film?  What do I need to do to help make that happen?  What are the factors I can’t do anything about that I need to just pray about lol?  What about money and how to pay for the things that I don’t have investment money for like subtitles? (I have enough to get english and spanish but now I had a phone call from Quebec today and a guy wanted to know if it was going to be available in French…that’s another $1500 bucks…where’s that gonna come from?)  Is there anything I can do to market the film better with what resources I have available?  What about the jobs I have that actually keep me alive right now…am I doing those the best I can for those that pay me best?  After this year, how will I make money?  Both of the jobs I have now might not be available next year, one of them for sure actually…so what can I do now to pursue a fruitful 2011 without driving myself batty?

It’s funny how women get this trophy for being multi-taskers.  I think just the singular issue of providing as a man has enough multitasking in it for anybody to handle.  Ah well…tis life.  Just pressing towards the goal, looking for any side jobs that are available, trying to finish my film and save as much money as I can so I have a nest-egg for next year, etc. etc.  Always busy doing something!

Also thanks to all who read here.  I read this today: “Your blog is one of the most encouraging things I read these days.”  That’s a real encouragement back to me knowing people actually grow in someway from what I write here, even in the days where I feel what I put down is worthless.  God uses it all in some way I hope.  Please leave comments if you don’t yet, I want to hear from you guys and interact!

Blessings!