Life of Kyle

I had no idea what to name this post…can you tell?  Ok on with what matters…

Well I guess I’ll start off with some news that is happy/sad.  I won’t be able to go to Texas this Spring.  For those of you who don’t know I was going to work on Heumoore Productions new film on-set for 6 weeks.  Unfortunately, that isn’t possible anymore.  I’ll still be working on the marketing/web/etc. for the film, but I won’t be on-set to work on it physically.  It just isn’t wise for me to take 6 weeks out of my Spring to work on this film when I have so much to do on Standing Firm.  A little bit ago I went along with the idea I was going because I wasn’t completely sure whether or not this would be a problem, and now I can see it will be.  There is too much to do, and not enough time to get it all done.  Six weeks of time off would be foolish and poor decision making on my part.  So…that’s that.

I will however be taking a trip down south for a week or so to see my parents in GA and hopefully due to some recent developments go somewhere else while I’m there…I won’t say where yet lol.  I’ll just wait and see what God does.  So I am going to get out of NY, but not for that amount of time, I just can’t afford it.  When your finishing up a feature film alone, distributing it, marketing it, etc. 6 weeks off is ludicrous lol.

Speaking of Standing Firm I listened to the first mix of Reel 1 today from Mark Stocker.  It sounded great! A few notes but it was all piddly stuff.  The mix was awesome, and besides the balancing of the final score later on with the final sound, it’s pretty darn close to what it’ll be when it’s done.  Very cool The score is also moving along, and I’ll be looking at what hopefully will be the final cue sheet very soon.  Then the actual music creation will begin!

I have a lot of work to do…phew.  It’s all going to pay off though.  That first email that comes in “God used your film to X in my life, or my friends, etc.”  That’s the pay off…I can’t wait.  I’m looking forward to that day.

So yea life is moving along.  My Spring is now open and free for me to finish the film.  That means I’ll be home for my birthday this year (last year I spent it in my new apartment in Los Angeles…alone lol).  I have lots to pray for, sin to weed out, projects to work on, a girlfriend to spend time with :), etc. etc.  Busy year

That’s what making a film is…baby steps.  You get an idea, you start writing little by little, you prepare little by little, you shoot day by day with 10,000 decisions to make all day.  Then you edit, one shot and one cut at a time.  It’s all multiple, slow, tedious steps, and all for that wonderful moment someday in the future (hopefully) where the lights go down in a packed room…the film fades in, the music swells, and your audience enjoys as you hide in the back biting your nails (at least I would be).  It’s been a long haul making this film, and today I completed another task Color-correction on the film is now completed.  That means the image from the very start of the film until the end fade out (before the credits) is 100% done.  No more VFX, no more color-grading, nothing.  It’s done, it’s locked, and it feels GOOD.  The only thing left in regards to the video of the film is to finish the credits and complete those, although that’ll probably hang in the balance until the last possible moment depending on the songs we put in the film, find out names we missed, etc.

There is still so much left to do, I really need to make a giant list.  Besides the sound-mix and the score, I’m pretty much done with the film itself.  Now I need to move more into the business end of things.  I need to get new screeners made with the color-corrected picture so I can get those sent off to a handful of people.  You’ll be happy to know that there is interest for the film (distribution) in South Africa, Australia, and New Zealand.  I’ve gotten requests for the film in the UK but I’ll likely have to provide those requests individually.  I have to make deals, get the film pre-pared for the markets in the US, develop a marketing plan, finish the items for the DVD, etc.  The next big project I think video wise is the Making Of documentary of the film.  I have a ton of great footage but I need to make sense of it all.  I really need to film my interview soon, and Kevin’s.  I don’t think I’ll be able to do the doc. without our footage first.

Denise came over the past two days and we just hung out and watched movies or chatted.  She’s able to come over a lot and I’m very thankful for that.  I’m Blessed to not have a normal job, so my schedule is always open to change/shifting most of the time.  We walked around Lewiston a bit yesterday night and then went to go eat.  I love walking in Lewiston

I might be forced to make a tough decision soon regarding this year and a job I might/might not take.  I’ve sorta made up my mind already but I’m just giving myself time to settle on it.  I need to decide soon or risk putting my friends in a tight situation.  We’ll see what happens.  It’ll cause a few financial complications if I vote no so that’s something to consider.  Making a film is so darn expensive, even when it’s low-budget.  I need another grand and a half that I don’t really have for the subtitles.  I really do need them done, English and Spanish at a minimum.  So I’ll have to save and come up with that.  I’m looking forward to having a budget next time around, LOL.  It’ll be nice…we’ll be crawling across the finish line.  As long as we get there that’s all I care about.

We passed 10,000 fans on Facebook yesterday! That was awesome to see.  To my knowledge no film our size/budget has gotten that kind of attention in the faith-based arena.  No Greater Love, the recent release from Coram Deo Studios and Lionsgate that’s been selling like hotcakes has about 13,500.  They’ll always have more but their film is already out, ours still has a bit to go.  That gives me an incentive to build that fan base, our email list, etc. until release time.  I’ll also be setting up a second email list for churches to sign up to so when the time comes I can give them church screening information.

So much to do! Gah! It’s gonna be a crazy year (too late).  Just gotta take it one baby step at a time…

If you haven’t yet read this: http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=353076585344 and sign up for the email updates and become a fan today!  Inviting your friends to the fan page couldn’t hurt either

Now that’s a guy’s blog title, you know it!

The past few days have been very cool.  Lots of little things going on, a ton to do on monday (a TON), and some good progress ahead of me.  I haven’t touched the film for 2 days almost, been too busy.  Standing Firm is a little over 2/3 color-corrected first-pass.  Because the film is so mild on correction I expect the second pass (basically checking over things) to take only a day or two.  I’ve gotten some quotes for subtitles on the film from a professional subtitling company.  I’ll likely be getting English and Spanish done.  I can’t really afford anymore, and I think those are essential, especially English.  One thing I need to start figuring out for myself is the behind the scenes content for the film.  I have all my interview footage except for mine and my co writer/producer Kevin.  We need to get those shot in the next month because when I go away to TX I’ll be gone about 8 weeks straight.  Odds are I’ll have to split up the BTS into large chapters on aspects of the film.  Development, Production, Post-Production, Music, Low-Budget, etc.  I’m going to focus the BTS on the personal journey and the indie style the film takes.  I hope at the very least for people to walk away after watching it understanding what it took to finish what they just watched, and especially make it useful for learning if other filmmakers end up watching it.  Some of you will be happy to know I’m talking with some foreign distributors that could possibly take the film to Christian bookstores in two other countries, so that’s exciting.  Even more exciting, they called me.  I never had to chase them down

My Beautiful GF :)

I spent Friday with Denise.  She went out to breakfast with my mom to chat.  I just sorta stayed at home and watched Batman: The Animated Series.  If your chuckling, don’t.  Go and find that show on DVD and give it a look.  Best superhero cartoon ever and my favorite stories about Batman.  The way they presented the show was great.  Awesome music, excellent animation, etc.  It’s all fantastic!  When she got home we just spent the day talking and hanging out, I got a cool picture of her with my camera (she was so nervous), and then we went to go walk in Lewiston and then to eat.  It was nice walking in the snow down Center Street…which is a beautiful part of that town, I love it.  When we got back we watched The Shawshank Redemption, on Blu-ray, she hadn’t seen the film in a long time.  I love that film so much, it’s very close to my heart.  If you haven’t seen the film, please do.  Beware of some of the content but if your able…see it.  In case you hadn’t read my review from a while back, here. I had seen the film many times but just decided to write a review for it randomly

Today we spent the day together as well, later in the day however.  We went to Tops and got junk food, came back to my place and hung out and talked, then watched Star Wars: A New Hope.  She hadn’t seen that in years either, since she was a kid.  Another great movie…iconic.  Many moments tonight I just found myself looking at her.  She’s so pretty, I love her She makes me so happy, I hate it when she has to leave.

Tomorrow I’m going to meet some more of her family, that’ll be interesting. :/ We’ll see how it goes, lol.  Gotta dive in sometime I guess right?  Till next time!

So yea, it’s February now…wow.  Lots going on here.  The past week has been insanity, a lot busier than I’ve been in a long time.  That’s what happens when you take up a ton of work and it all has similar deadlines!  Yikes!  Ah well, I’ll get it all squared away, it’s just been nutty.  Today from the moment I got up I’ve pretty much had my fingers typing and my mouse clicking.  I stopped to eat a sandwich that’s about it.  I’m doing the DVD Menu’s for The Secrets of Jonathan Sperry as well as the Animated Titles for the Behind the Scenes.  I’ve also just finished a website for my neighbor in the last day or so.  On top of that I’m attempting still to call my edit on Standing Firm 100% locked.  I’m probably 99.5% right now.

Just as a side note in case your wondering “why the heck hasn’t he locked that yet…wasn’t it supposed to be Feb 1st?”  The answer is yes it was, but because of some rather serious news from my composer, I got a bit of an extension.  I’m not waiting to lock it though, I probably would’ve run over a tad anyways.  Please pray for my composer, he needs prayer for him and his family.  I can’t say why, I don’t have his permission, but it’s appreciated regardless.

I’ve also updated my graphics portfolio recently, and my IMDB profile which is getting a bit bigger now ChristianMovies.com has also been an ongoing job…sales were good in January, lets hope for another great month this month!  Keep your eye on the site for some awesome sales and deals coming your way soon… As you can see via the post under this one we released a new behind the scenes video for Standing Firm today.  Watch it here.

So yea it’s been pretty crazy around here lately, my computer is going to explode and so is my brain.  This begs the question, what’s the rest of 2010 look like for me?  Well…

1) Standing Firm - Locking the edit, Color-Correction, Marketing Plan, Securing Distribution, Promotional Materials, Premiere, Release the film on DVD and watch God do awesome things, Enter into SAICFF, Go to SAICFF if I get in (or not), etc.

2) ChristianMovies.com - Continue to manage the site as best I can, enter new products, help develop some deals/newsletters and send those, market the site online, boost sales in anyway I can.

3) Heumoore Productions - I’m working on their next project and marketing it all year.  I’ve already begun you just don’t know it yet I can’t tell you the name or the site or anything, but you’ll know in due time.  I’ll also be working on-set for the film the end of Spring.  The money from that will all go into Standing Firm so I can finish/distribute it along with the investment we received.  This was a huge Blessing, God really saved my year (and my film) with this.

4) KeepGoing.biz - Keeping up to date any web related changes they have.

5) ProverbsCinema.com - Updating this site as needed for Coram Deo Studios (the No Greater Love team).

6) Any Extra Work - Any extra web/graphics/film/etc. jobs that come along that I have time to do and are at a good price…I’ll be picking up as well.

So yea, as you can see 2010 is pretty much booked up with work, Praise God!  Now I just need to keep my head together, pray for me! :/

Denise is doing very good, in case anybody out there was wondering She’s amazing, and I’m not just saying that.  There’s a bond there that’s unique and rooted in Christ, something I’m so happy to have.  We have a mutual respect for each other, ridiculously good communication, we can tell each other anything no matter how taboo it may feel or be, and I just love her so much!  This year is going to fly by…I can tell.  If your reading this beautiful, I LOVE YOU

What a blessed life Jesus has given to me!  I think it’s only natural after being broken to realize what I have and appreciate it all the more.  Things are going well right now and I can see the light at the end of the tunnel on Standing Firm.  The time to go is still the same but my comfort with it is more than before.  I watched it twice today, all the way through without any breaks and I’m very thankful with what God has given to me.  Regardless of it’s faults I’m confident this is a film that can impact whoever watches it.  The story isn’t super complicated, but it’s layered.  Not in narrative but in reliability, and for that I’m really excited.  I know that it’s almost impossible to not relate to this film in some way or another.  You have literally have over 6 relationships in the film, all of which have their own lessons tied into them.  They are relationships that everyone has, and it’s impossible for someone to be without all of them.  That excites me! I want to see live’s changed, Christians edified, and God Glorified!  Woo!

I got a wonderful email from a man in South Africa today.  I’m telling you it’s amazing to know that people out there even outside my own little nothing of a town know about me.  It’s not some fame game where I’m looking for that or craving it, it’s just cool to see.  You know what, besides my own therapy in writing this blog or making my film or whatever, knowing that it benefits others is amazing.  I mean really?  Really God?  You want to use me?  Why?  I guess it doesn’t matter, I’m just thankful he does.  I think I’m going to start writing a lot more about things I’ve learned so other might learn from them as well.  Why not?  It’s worth a shot right He even encouraged me by telling me that there are others out there in South Africa who know about the film, how cool is that?

I’m just in a fuzzy and happy mood right now, it’s great.  Denise just left and we’d been talking for a while.  I gotta say everyone, being able to look into the face of somebody you know deep down in your heart is your future creates so much excitement and joy I can’t barely contain it.  God is good, that’s all I’ve got to say, and I’m so blessed to have someone like her in my life.

Be thankful always…the good, bad, and the ugly, because God deserves it.  If we can get ourselves to the place where we’re thankful for the little things and not skipping over them like no big deal, then what kind of joy and thankfulness could be possible in the big things?  Give it some thought…g’night!

There are times I feel I lose my focus.  I lose my drive, my determination, my energy, and all things related to progress.  Sometimes it’s sleep, sometimes it’s too much recreation, sometimes it’s just plain laziness, and other times it’s me spiritually lacking, even if those previous aspects are in check.  Besides whatever reading I do, I’m just going to commit to listening to sermons online all day while I work.  I think that will benefit me greatly and keep God’s Word and his truths pumping through my brain, even if at times I’m not fully concentrated because I’m working.  I feel like just having it playing will keep my mind focused on the light and on the things of God.  People underestimate the power of God’s Word when your actually reading it, and I think just as many underestimate what listening to solid bible teachers online can do for you.  Obviously you read God’s Word to get God’s truth from His Word, so why not go to the literal thousands of available audio sermons online, find a topic, and just listen to 8 hours of a pastor explaining God’s truth from His Word on a given topic?  How could your time be spent better?  I really love listening to that stuff, it gets me pumped and I learn so much.

I watched the first 23 minutes or so of Standing Firm yesterday trying to really concentrate on what the film was feeding me.  It’s tough because I can’t go in fresh as if I know nothing, but I can get a clear view of the pacing of the film if I step back a bit and come back to the edit later.  I really was surprised at how much I enjoyed watching the film and how well it was working for me.  I get very afraid when looking at my own work, just always wondering if I’m fooling myself.  I don’t have a lot of time to fight with that anymore Time is getting short (thank goodness, because it gives me a forceful push forward) and I need to lock this film SOON.  We have been Blessed with enough investment to finish the film.  The amount was just enough for me to combine my own investment and get the Score/Sound-Mix/and Distribution/Marketing costs completed or at least over the peak.  That is very encouraging to know considering it’s been an unknown for so long.  God is good!

I just can’t wait to see what God does with this film, it makes me crazy just thinking about it.  Regardless of the reaction to the film or the naysayers that WILL come along, I’m honored to have the chance to create something that could be used by God to reach someone for himself.  What a cool thing to be apart of!  We passed 2000 followers today on Twitter, which was really hard to do but I’m glad I can start moving higher.  Our fan page is doing well, getting near the 8000 mark.  8 THOUSAND…wow.  Just the thought that 8000 people have at least heard of this film blows my mind, lol.

Denise is doing well It was funny today at Vintage seeing some peoples reactions to the fact I had a girl next to me.  I’ve never had a girlfriend and most people that know me know that, so their facial expressions were comical.  I’m just so Blessed to have her, it’s amazing.  It makes me think so differently.  Finding somebody that makes you want to draw even nearer to God than before because they’re now with you is the perfect person to find.  Someone who you can serve Jesus together with and become the greatest possible version of yourself because of that.  I am Blessed beyond words, and pretty darn vocal about it ha ha!

Life is going well, and I’m so happy right now More than I have been in a long time.  Why God is choosing to Bless me right now, I have no idea.  I just keep thankfulness on the brain, and move forward with a smile.  2010 is looking like a God-year, how about you?

I’ve been absent for the last two weeks almost.  That’s a lot of “life of kyle” and no posts.  Well I suppose that is fitting as the last two weeks have been some of the most personal to me.  As I mentioned in my last entry on New Years I have met a girl…a very special girl.  A girl that is everything I’ve ever been looking for plus more.  A girl that makes me smile and causes me to sit up and listen when she speaks.  Through what she says, how she acts, what she wants to be, and who she is right now makes me want to be the greatest man of God I can be, for her and for the Lord.  How could I be looking for anything less than that?  I always wondered what that would feel like, and now I know

This isn’t some puppy love thing or some sort of falling fast ridiculous love train that I got somehow swept up onto, this is real.  We didn’t hit the gas pedal and we didn’t hit the breaks.  All that happened was extremely organic and completely driven by conversation and the Lord showing himself in awesome ways.  I don’t feel I need to explain all those things, I just thought you’d all like to know that this is a God relationship, not a good one.  To me that makes all the difference in the world, and what I always wanted!  Let me just state my case and say that I would never be dating just anyone.  I have NEVER dated before, ever.  I’ve never held a girls hand in a “romantic” way (besides Denise and the first time was new years when the ball dropped), never kissed, never…you know (obviously), and never truly pursued someone, because I didn’t feel there was anyone that was really worth it.  Whatever your views are, that’s fine…but dating for me is practice for marriage.  I would never date someone I wasn’t really certain I could probably marry.  We were talking about things out of the gate before there was even a real interest (the interest in each other sprang from talking about these things).  Do you want kids?  How many?  What do you want in marriage?  What do you want in the future?  What’s your hope for a home life?  What are your spiritual goals?  All these kinds of deeper questions that most don’t get to until months later sometimes were the first out of the gate.  We were laughing at just how on par we were with each other on everything.  God was already making us go “hmm…is this really possible??”

Me & Denise

I find myself even though it has not been long asking her questions some would consider “weird,” but they’re exactly the kind of questions each should be asking (and if your married, you especially should).  Is there anything I can do to make you happier?  Do you need to talk about anything?  What did God teach you today?  How are you feeling emotionally?  Am I doing anything to make you stumble?  She is asking these things as well, and we’re completely transparent on the issues which has been key from the get go.  Yes I’m only her boyfriend, but I still care about making sure that she is taken care of in anyway that I can.  We’re just committing all of this to the Lord, and we’ll continue to seek Him in all of this until he shows us what we must do.  Learning about each other, investing in each other emotionally/spiritually, spending time together and having fun, etc. will all be on the agenda from now on.  I’m extremely eager and excited to work at that I find it to be one of the most exciting things I can be doing!

God is so unbelievably good to bring along someone like Denise (that is her name, used with her permission lol.).  I’m so thankful and Blessed.  I can’t wait to see where God brings us in 2010!  We’re just along for the ride!

I’m starting this month on marketing and PR for a new Christian film shooting in a few months as well as ChristianMovies.com and gearing up to finish Standing Firm and release that for summer.  The first 6 months are going to be insanely busy but I’ll be glad when they’re over.  I’ll be knuckling down on the Standing Firm edit this week, committing to spend every bit of time I can on it.  I feel like I’ve been slacking a tad to get it locked up, that can’t happen!  Please pray God gives me direction on when it’s OK to lock.  It’s difficult to be sure, but I look forward to the release of stress once it’s done.

Here is a quick FX shot from Standing Firm for those of you who are interested.  I had to replace the name on the stone and add the wife’s name to the stone as well.  I changed the perspective a tad, matched the grain, created the depth of field, and made it a bit easier to read than the original.  Don’t worry this doesn’t spoil a thing in the film, but I’m very glad the shot turn out well Anybody who doesn’t read this (sorry) wouldn’t know the difference, haha.

So that’s what I’m up to!  Lots of things going on.  I noticed today that I’ve been working for myself for 7 months, which is pretty insane.  I’m pretty proud of myself to have gotten started this early.  I’ll only be 22 this June!  God has been awesome nudging me along and 2010 looks to be a very profitable year, in more ways than one.  We’ll see where he takes me

The Ball Drop in Buffalo, NY

It never ceases to amaze me how quickly life can change.  Here’s a little list of some highlights from 2009.

Recap of 2009:
- Resigned from ministry
- Wrapped shooting my first feature film
- Moved twice with a combined 7,400 miles
- Started two jobs and got fired at both
- Lived on my own for the first time
- Saw the Pacific Ocean
- Lost 30lb.
- Did silly things with new people in new places
- Met many new friends that I’ll have forever
- Met someone else who is really special
- Grew in my faith through failure and victory…

It’s been quite the year…a difficult one.  I wouldn’t have traded it for anything though!  So many wonderful doors shut and new ones opened.  I kept searching for what God wanted me to do and where he wanted me to go in 2009.  Not just locationally but career.  Was Standing Firm a reality or was he going to bring something else along?  Would I meet someone for the first time?  Where would she live?  Was Standing Firm going to find distribution?  Lots of big questions, and lots of mistakes on my part.

All the traveling this year showed me how much I should be back home.  He let me get a taste of new places to fill that thirst I had but brought me back home after taking a sip.  I’m ok with that, because it was what I needed.  I needed to see new places, meet some new people, experience some new things, and get outside of the bubble I was in!  I’m happy to be back in Western New York.

I lost many jobs this year.  Not just the major ones, like the ones I moved for, but other small ones that in a time of financial despair, I lost without warning.  My finances hit their breaking point, with me feeling very worried in September and October that I was going to be in ruin.  Now before 2009 even ended, he brought along two jobs, both of which beneficial to my portfolio and career, that will take care of me the entire year of 2010, one of those two being possible to extend for years to come.  That’s quite the change from a few months ago right?  God has been really really good, and I don’t deserve a thing.

Little did I know that he would also bring along someone special for me.  What’s that you just read?  Yea, you heard me.  I have a girlfriend  All my whining in the past wondering why God was having me wait…even wondering why he wanted me back in NY.  I know now!  I will discuss this person more as she allows and is comfortable but what I will say is she is amazing.  I’ve never met anyone that hits all the requirements I would have in a woman, plus some.  God brought us together in a very interesting way, and I’m very excited to see where 2010 takes us in our relationship together.  We’re going to just grow in the Lord with each other, and trust his guidance along the way…moving as he leads.  We held hands at the first time when we went to see the ball drop in Buffalo.  I’ve never held a girls hand before that wasn’t my moms, not like this.  How could this be possible?  I’m 21, but I say SO WHAT.  I thank the Lord for keeping me from relationships until now, until I was spiritually ready to do it the right way…HIS way.

As the timer said 1:30 to go in 2009 I took my glove off and looked her in the eye.  I held my hand up and she smiled putting hers in mine (knowing she was the first to hold my hand this way) and we counted down 2009 together, looking forward to what God has in store.  I’m so Blessed to have found someone like her.  I always used to have a problem looking a woman in the eye (leftovers of a past I’m glad God has delivered me from), but last night looking her right in the eyes I told her she made me want to be the greatest man of God I could be.  I don’t deserve any of this…

Two months ago I looked into the future and saw nothing but a blank void.  I knew God was there, but he kept in the dark what he would be building for me.  I’m so glad he did, or the surprise wouldn’t be so incredible!  2010 is going to be one fantastic year, I can tell.

So Far in 2010:
- Started a new relationship with a wonderful woman of God
- Found a fulltime position in internet/social marketing for a feature film
- Landed a job on-set for a feature in TN and TX this April
- Become regular maintenance/tech guy @ ChristianMovies.com
- Close to securing all we need for Standing Firm towards an eventual release in the summer

Thanks for reading, and may God Bless you this year!

Kyle Prohaska

I didn’t end up going to Sunday School today.  Lately I’ve been consistent as the class is awesome but this morning I was just way too tired.  I got ready really fast today, within like 15 minutes or so.  That isn’t normal for me, but that’s ok.  I can’t believe how dang skinny I’ve gotten in the past 2 weeks.  Once I got sick that 10lbs I couldn’t seem to get rid of to get me back to where I was on July 4th became a piece of cake (no cake…lol).  I went to lunch with a bunch of guys from my church after church and that was fun as always.  Lots of funny conversation and theology.  I don’t know what’s up with the guys this year, but man all of a sudden since I got back from California it’s like they’re all different.  Really what I mean to say is they’ve grown a huge amount but now all the conversation is so theological and bible driven most of the time, even the humor.  I’m happy for that, it’s refreshing and I’ve never had that before.

It’s taken me the past two days or so but I finally have a screener (almost) that I can send to a few people for some serious comments and other feedback.  This time I’ve made a nice menu and included some promotional videos that have yet to be released, as well as the trailer on the disc.  A bit more “pro” than the previous although I can’t label my discs still.  I’ve noticed Reel 2 is easily in the worst shape.  Not just the edit, that’s in good shape but the mess that the edit is.  There’s a zillion tracks on top of each other where Reel 4 is in the best shape and mostly 2 tracks.  I’m sure that’s gibberish for a few of you out there.  I translates into more work for me later

I’ve been doing a lot of research and thinking about filmmaking and making profits, the best ways to do it, etc.  It really helps to figure that stuff out.  The less completely unexplored territory on my part the better I think.  If I ever plan to make this a viable option to pay my bills I better know this stuff.  Heck everything I think about the market, Standing Firms place in it, etc. could all be totally wrong because as Andre put it at lunch a week ago (and he’s right) “nobody knows anything” (in regards to how something will sell).  It’s sorta a crapshoot no matter what.

I’m hoping for a phone call tomorrow that’ll help me pay my bills some.  Even if it’s nothing spectacular (although God could provide that!), it’ll help me.  Something is more than nothing so I’ll be happy.  I wish I had a web job waiting to start but I don’t :/  I think Nov. and Dec. could be the two hardest months for me.  Holidays, not much business going on.  Everybody is saving money, gearing up for taxes, etc.  That’ll leave me out of the loop I bet for freelance.

There isn’t much else going on in regards to life.  I’m still a 21 year old wannabee filmmaker living with his mom (that’s right ladies…).  I was talking to a friend before I wrote this.  I think it’s going to take me a long time to find “the one.”  I’ve told people before but I need to find someone who is an artsy person like me, especially for film.  I’m almost convinced if she doesn’t understand film then she’ll never understand me.  That’s almost certainty for me.  As my friend put it “finding a woman who loves film is like finding a woman who loves video games.”  I’m not sure I 100% agree but it’s definitely the same kind of idea.  Good thing I’m not stuck watching nothing but RAMBO eh?  Hitch was on tv earlier and I was watching it.  What?  I can’t enjoy a good chick flick?  I gotta say, she’ll be interesting whoever she is…because finding someone else like me in this spot in NY feels like a million to one.

Adios

Btw, I totally listened to this song while I typed this.

Hall & Oates - You Make My Dreams

I went to Niagara Frontier Bible Church back home since birth, so I’m pretty used to the way things go over there.  Moving to LA back in May was odd because I knew I would be going to a new church, new congregation, new teaching, new everything.  I didn’t end up staying there and had moved back home as most of you know, but now I’m in Memphis for The Grace Card and have yet again another church to call home.  It was just as weird as my first day at Reality LA (church in Hollywood).  I stood around without much to do since I didn’t know anybody.  I said hi to a few folks I had met but for the most part it was awkward.  An usher came up to me and we chatted for a while which was nice.

There were a lot of folks looking at me I think, lol.  No matter, I eventually went to go sit with Joyce (Bradshaw) where she normally sits, the front row…ugh.  Of course I was on the end so your just wide open on the right for people to see you.  I’m still dealing with a lot of paranoia stuff from childhood and it sucks sometimes because I can’t always enjoy myself.  The worship was fun and the message was solid.  I think I’ll like going here until the filming is over.  Afterwards I saw David walking around and talked with him for a moment.  There was a college aged group they have that meets on Sundays so I headed home to just hang out until then.  I was one of the first folks there when I arrived and just played ping pong by myself until folks showed up, lol.  In case your wondering how that’s possible you push the table against a wall

Rob Erickson showed up and we played each other until things started.  He’ll be playing Blake in The Grace Card so it’s nice to start building a friendship there as we’ll be working together a lot in the coming months.  The time with the group was nice as well, just light conversation and laughs as we spoke about the message from the morning.  Afterwards folks were going to play Ultimate Frisbee outside and I didn’t have shoes or anything so I ran to go get them back home.  We didn’t play long but that didn’t mean I wasn’t sweaty.  Running back and forth down a field for 20 minutes will get me going, lol.  Folks were heading to Rob’s house because I guess they all had some trip to go on tomorrow.  Little did I know what everyone was in for.  There was a concrete fireplace that they were going to use all the guys to get off the trailer and setup in the backyard.  Before all that though we were all in Robs kitchen and most folks weren’t there yet so we were just talking.  They asked me questions about what I was doing in Memphis, where I might be going, how I got started in stuff, I showed them pieces of Standing Firm (which they really liked), and talked about the last 2 years or so of my life.  Robs mom was a little upset hearing about the deaths that happened so recently but she was ok

When everyone showed up they started working on this fireplace.  These concrete slabs were hundreds of pounds, with the large enclosure piece of it easily 1000+.  It was hilarious as we slowly figured out how to move this thing and get it where it needed to be.  This was a memory building experience for sure, something I’ll remember for a while, ha ha.

I headed out soon after (it took well over an hour to get that thing put together…and it was only two pieces) and took a shower.  I had powder and crap all over me from the concrete.  I think it’s safe to say I made a lot of friends tonight, which is a good sign.

I wonder where God will want me at the end of the year.  I want to find somewhere I can settle and call home.  Somewhere I can get work and if need be travel from project to project but I still want a home somewhere.  My parents sounded pretty sure that in the next few years or so they’ll probably end up down in GA to live.  They’ll keep the house in NY but my mom will probably head down to Georgia for good sometime in the future.  Nashville wouldn’t be such a crappy place to stay I think.  Odds are most of the work I get will be internet based, or project to project, but it’ll be nice to have a place to come home to that I can call my own.

I was trying to figure out with Kevin (co-owner Praise Pictures Inc., and Co writer/producer of Standing Firm) what we might do for the business.  I have other revenue streams I want to start throwing into a company name but Praise Pictures is in NY and all sorta of other annoying things.  I’ll have to figure all this out soon so I can get start being smarter about where my money goes and why.  It’s tough because I don’t want to leave NY, I love the people there.  There just aren’t any jobs up there…not for someone like me.  Even if I travel for some jobs, I’ll be so much farther away up there.  I have a better shot at getting jobs more local in Nashville than I do back home.  Thousands of people leave the Buffalo area per year, and that makes a lot of sense.  I’ll miss everyone a lot  I don’t know, just trying to figure out where God wants me to go more permanently.  I don’t want to be packing my car every few months for very much longer, it’s a really crappy way to live.  Your never somewhere long enough to invest in people very much.  I’ll certainly never get to date anybody if I plan on leaving a month after I arrive somewhere, right?  We’ll see what happens in the next few months, I’ll get an answer sometime.