Life of Kyle Prohaska

I’m a filmmaker now?  Really?  Weird…it’s just weird.  Today is one day after one of the most significant days in my young life, probably my entire life.  Graduation from high school was cool but excitement lasted about 5 seconds, until I realized that I was going back to school that fall for college.  I dropped out, and after a ton of different events God dropped the passion for STANDING FIRM in my lap.  I had given up on filmmaking, at least for many years, because it seemed “impossible.”  Luckily, my Lord doesn’t work within the bounds of “possibility” but “impossibility.”  I always wondered what it would be like to wake up in the morning and know that in lots of different locations around the US, something I worked on and toiled over was sitting on a shelf ready to be bought and enjoyed by someone.  To be honest I didn’t know how to feel.  I was exhausted having been up late many days in a row and the day was very boring.

It felt like any other day.  When you spend over three years on something, release day just feels like another day on the grind getting it sold, marketing it, answering emails and voicemails, etc.  I think it’s slowly sinking in now, in the last hour.  I realized having gotten a few reports from friends that STANDING FIRM was sold out everywhere except for ChristianMovies.com and ebay.    How is that possible?  God is good!

I’ll be frantically trying to make sure that things are set for the weekend before I leave Friday/Saturday for a mens retreat.  I’m excited to get to know some of the men at the new church I started attending a number of months ago.  The Chapel at Crosspoint will be my new spiritual home until God moves me again.  My new home on Oct 5 will be only minutes from there, and I’ll also be serving there in their young adult ministry called Vintage as an e-group leader starting in September.  A whole new season of life is coming, with an even bigger announcement coming sometime later.  What a crazy year this has been huh?  I started off 2010 taking the plunge and beginning to work for myself doing websites, online marketing, etc. and now the film is out and stretching it’s legs, I’m moving soon, I started a wonderful relationship with Denise, ugh so much stuff!

I’ve also had all sorts of things rolling through my head in the past number of weeks about this industry, where I see it going, where I feel called to move within it and how, and how to proceed.  It’s an exciting time for me, and I can’t point anywhere but Christ for the why, what, or who.  It’s all God.  It’s ALL God.

God is teaching me more and more how unworthy I am of being a tool for His Purpose.  On top of that, my ability to even be a tool is a given Blessing, it’s not of me.  It astounds me every time I see a Christian speaking about their “part” of their salvation, or how they had a “hand” in it.  We’re seriously kidding ourselves if we think that as dead people (spiritually) that we could make ourselves alive.  Did Lazarus bring himself out of the ground?  Yes, I’m talking about Calvinism folks.  Some of you might not agree, and the more I look out into my sphere in influence the less support I see for it.  Just sharing what I see and what God’s been teaching me the past few years.

On Sunday we’re having the screening at NFBC (my home church for 21 years) where many unsaved folks will be there (from my family and others).  It will be the first time I’ve watched the film with an audience, and also the first time I get to publicly thank everyone for their support of the film.  Rob (the lead in the film) will be giving the Gospel.  I wish I had started this earlier but everyone please, pray for that night.  I could care less for handshakes and pats of recognition, they’re over in moments…as soon as the warm is gone from my hands or the sting from my back.  I’m looking for some eternal results here.  The night will be heavy and sorrowful  if everyone is all smiles and claps, but walks out having suppressed the truth of God’s Word.  I pray God moves on the hearts of folks there, and I hope you do as well.  Salvation is a work of God and God alone, and I hope by His Grace and Mercy that a harvest is reaped.  We shall see…

Only what’s done for Christ will stand.  What good is your film to the Father if those who watch it enjoy it then walk out having not heard about his son?  You think God is going to even mention that kind of film to you on the day of judgement when He asks what you did with what He gave you?  I’m almost certain that if it’s mentioned it will be with wrath and disappointment.  How is it a filmmaker can call himself a Christian, and have all the money needed to present the Gospel in a narrative, easily understood and without cheese, yet neglect to do it in the name of “marketability” or “stepping on toes?”  Does anybody have a problem with that?  Disagree if you wish, but these are the kinds of things that keep me up at night.  God is wrecking me week after week about these kinds of things, and where Art comes into play in the lives of the believer and what my responsibilities are in being given the ability to create.  Again, disagree if you must, but I just can’t deny these kinds of things anymore.  It’s actually quite funny because while talking to my mom the other day I told her I realized how much more conservative, fundamental, and passionate I’ve become in the last few months.  I don’t really know what to say.  God has lit a fire under my rear end I guess.  Just sharing a bit of my heart, hopefully that’s ok with you folks

If you haven’t purchased the film yet, check out ChristianMovies.com to get it, your support is appreciated.

Also if you have time and you’re on Facebook, become a fan, and use the “Suggest to Friends” button under the image to the left to invite your friends and family.  We need your support!

Do I really know what’s coming my way?  Nah.  Does it scare me a little?  Sure.  Am I excited though?  You bet!  I’m really not prepared I think for what the rest of this year could bring, and that does throw me a bit off every time I think about it.  I don’t know why I just have this feeling like something big is on its way, not sure why I feel that.  Yes STANDING FIRM is coming out and yes there have been some great things happening regarding that, but somehow I feel that isn’t the only thing.  It’s a weird feeling to have every day as new opportunities, emails, phone calls, etc. come.

I saw STANDING FIRM landed at #7 on ChristianCinema.com today under Best Sellers.  That’s pretty incredible to be considering the film is 2 weeks from release and as far as I know, not many know about it. (lol)  I got rid of another Church Screening, with a lot of them pending so I look forward to making some phone calls tomorrow to see who’s not sure

I went with Denise to The Chapel tonight to go to our E-Group Leader Training Meeting.  I’m starting this next Vintage (the college ministry there) as an E-Group leader which means I’ll be leading a small group of guys in discussion and such after the message on tuesday nights.  This means a lot more responsibility on my part while I’m there, more accountability, and a ton of things I’ll need to work on if I hope to be effective.  I’m very nervous to do this but excited as well.  It’s going to take some hard work on my part, and also stepping outside my comfort zone in almost every way possible.  It’s going to be good for me, I know it.  Prayers for all of that is appreciated as the next 6 months of my life are going to get increasingly busy, difficult, exciting, scary, and everything else mixed in.

I started using iCal on my Mac to schedule things and I see the next 3 months slowly but surely filling up with different dates and events I have.  Getting my E-Group kit tonight included a ton of dates I’ll need to throw in there.  Life is getting busier, and I’ll have a lot of changes to make.  I’m also moving in about 6 weeks 35-40mins away.  That’s a change as well.  A new place (all mine!), in an area of WNY I’ve been to many times but isn’t where I’ve lived before.  New neighbors, new routine since I’ll be living alone and providing for every need, and LOTS of expenses.  Besides the new editing desk I plan to buy for my office (finally have a room that’s JUST an office!) and a double bed, I won’t have ANY furniture at the start.  It’ll look completely empty.  Even my TV will have to stay in its box until I get an entertainment stand that it can go on or something, because it can’t sit on a floor the way it’s made.  It’ll take some time to fill the place but I’ll get there.  Those first few months are going to be extremely expensive.

I gotta be honest, one of my greatest worries is finances.  I don’t mean right now I just mean in general.  It’s hard to relinquish the control to the Lord at times when it comes to funds.  I have to learn the lesson over and over again it seems, and God is faithful each time to take care of me.  With all that’s going on in life, and where God has been moving me locationally not just with opportunities but with friends, where I’m moving is the right decision and I’m confident of that.  So I need to be confident that if God led me to move out that way finally, then he’ll provide a way for me to stay there.

The current Church Screenings purchased start shipping on the 16th, so there’s a lot to do to make sure those are ready to go just in case I get any rush of them because of the shipping date.  Lots of folks have looked at the page, but I think the pre-order status scared some folks away.  Hopefully once I announce them ready to ship immediately, I’ll get a few more bites!

Lots of stuff to do…keep me in prayer please!

I feel a little unproductive lately.  I have some packages I need to ship out overseas but I’ve yet to get those out.  Perhaps I’ll feel better once I do?  Every day feels like I’m trying to catch up.  That’s not a fun feeling so hopefully Wednesday is a better day where I accomplish some stuff.  I got some emails from some pastors in KY, KS, ON, TX, OH, MD, and MS about watching the film via the screening room so they can decide on whether or not STANDING FIRM is something they want to show to their congregation.  I’m hoping for many more to sign up and show the film.  It’s going to be very cool to see how many churches in the next 6 months end up showing the film.  The fact that every single sign up or inquiry about them are from varying states tells me something.  I guess I’m doing something right…we’ll see.

I thought a lot today about what I would make next if I had the chance to.  I’ve had some story ideas rolling around in my head and fleshed out one, but I’m not sure if it’s the direction to go in.  There’s another idea cooking that me and Denise talked about a lot today, and it has potential.  I just want to get this film out and selling before I cloud my mind with something else.  There’s so much I need to do better next time around and it’s going to be a far more difficult process next time.  While talking to a friend the other day on the phone, I spoke about the need to have a real budget next time.  As surprising as it may seem, Standing Firm didn’t have a budget.  It was money spent over a long period of time to gather equipment, and spend more and more money as time went on.  Various expenses in the tens of thousands that eventually ends up at X for the cost of the film.  That’s basically how things went, and now next time around I have a good idea of what something will cost, and that’s a good thing.  Something I have to have next time in the budget is a slice of the pie for me.  That could be taken the wrong way I suppose.  However, anybody who wants to see another film from me will probably understand that they take countless hours of time over a long period to develop, shoot, complete, shop around, distribute, and market something…and not only does it not come that cheap to actually do, but paying those who do it is a must.  If I even do half the jobs I did on Standing Firm on the next film, a decent portion of that budget (for staff) will need to come my way.  I can’t make another film if I can’t support myself, an eventual wife or family, etc.  It’s out of the question.  Nobody can live like that, so next time being able to pay myself to make the film (not just get something IF it sells) will be mandatory.

I’m working on the bible study guide for the film as well.  Two of the portions are completed, and many more to go.  I’m guessing 8 total, which is a good amount without going overboard.  There’s a lot of layers (message wise) to Standing Firm and it’s hard to pick which things to focus on.  Also on the 8th of August I’ll be presenting the church screenings and the film itself to a group of local pastors.  I’m extremely nervous and have yet to put together anything to give them or present.  I’ve been swamped.  Prayers for that are appreciated.

Lots of other irons in the fire, and the film is only 20 days from release.  The boxes for the church screening kits have arrived, the posters should ship to the house on the 6th, and everything else is here and ready to go.  I just need to get some adhesive labels and things should be ready to rock.

Be in prayer about foreign distribution as some are ready to go and waiting on their materials from me, and others are in progress/negotiations.  So far it looks like it’s possible we’ll not only be in the US/Canada but Australia, New Zealand, Africa, South America, the UK, and if I play my cards right even the Asia market.  It’s a lot of emailing and talking with folks and stress can be high at times, but hopefully we’ll get there.  If not then that’s ok, nobody can say I didn’t try!

Also I’de like to share my heart for a moment. One of my greatest worries for the next few months especially, is the recognition, thanks, and praise that COULD come from the films release.  Just locally I know that there will be a certain amount, and I’m thankful that those who live here and have been waiting are excited for the release.  However, I need prayer to cover me in these times.  I don’t want to be presumptuous on what the film could become or what kind of recognition it could get, that isn’t what I’m trying to do.  I’m just worried that if God chooses to Bless it in such a way, that I will get pigheaded, prideful, arrogant, egotistical, etc.  I’m terrible at taking compliments.  Online and email it’s a piece of cake, but in person it’s a real nightmare for me.  I don’t know what to say, I start to sweat, and it gets really bad really fast.  I say stupid things, and I’m bad at thanking someone back for their thanks (without them feeling like somethings “off.”).  It takes time to cultivate that, and I just want to be in the spirit and not in the flesh.  I want to accept any kind words that come my way with humility and with a fear of God.  Perhaps even mentioning this at all makes me sound prideful, but I’m legitimately asking for prayers about this.  I’ll need help with it.  I don’t feel prepared for it at all.  I’ve been so focused on just finishing the film that I’ve yet to prepare for the waterfall it could bring.  We’ll see…I trust the Lord with this.

Till next time, adios.

Today was an interesting day.  One of those days when I realize just how close my deadline is for the film, and how much I have yet to finish.  My biggest worry I think is just the lack of time to polish and MAKE SURE that things are good.  It’s nerve-wracking for me to know I’ll be literally doing the last of the last things last minute, unless something radical happens and I get this BTS stuff done really fast.  After all this time I find myself slaving over this last bit of the “product” to round out the DVD package.  The subtitles are another thing.  They will be done in 5 days and even if I send the check tomorrow, I won’t get them completed until the 24-25th which is really close to be deadline.  What if the format doesn’t work as it should?  That means no subtitles on the film…because they won’t have time to fix them.  Lots of little things that could go wrong here, prayers appreciated.

Editing this documentary for the BTS is like a giant puzzle and I feel like I’m on a timer.  There’s probably 7 hours of interview footage between everyone, and it’s difficult knowing what piece to put where, how to separate what is said into logical portions of the video (story, characters, shooting, etc.).  I really think this will be a great thing to watch and for me to watch personally to remember the film so much weight goes with it.  I have some credits to finalize as well that I need to make some phone calls for.  I’m waiting on my Dove review which should be in next monday, then hopefully I can get a quote from Dove to use on the back of my DVD cover.  I’m lucky to have squeezed through with the endorsements I have, because they’re really good and the Lord was on my side there…BIG TIME.  If I can nab one more that’ll be great.  I’ll be recording my commentary for the film sometime soon, early next week is likely.  Lots to do…please pray for me.

I posted one of the first images from Ace Wonder today on the blog.  This film is a marketing dream when it comes to promotional material.  Expect to see that image from the film showing up on all sorts of things, because it’s the iconic image for the film, I hope it stays as such.  It can be used on almost anything and look fantastic.  Looking forward to seeing things develop over time If nothing else, the film is going to look fantastic.  I played with the 4k image from the RED I was given, it’s beautiful to work with in Photoshop.  My hat goes off to James Burgess for shooting the film so beautifully!

Denise came over later today and we watched Toy Story 2.  I haven’t seen it in years and on Blu-ray it’s incredible.  I watched Toy Story 1 with commentary earlier today and forgot how good it was.  Toy Story 2 is now in my top films I think, it’s the PERFECT sequel.  I never stopped laughing at how clever it was and all the stuff that’s in it that’s so brilliant.  What a wonderful job that must be.  I can’t imagine the roaring laughter when some of those ideas in the movie were hatched.  Perfectly crafted story too, which if you know the backstory on the making of the film (it being rewritten last minute because it was crap) then the film is even more impressive!  Definitely a great movie…

I also looked at apartments today in the area to figure out when I would want to move and where.  It’s going to be a tough decision process but I look forward to having my own place.  I can’t wait to decorate it too, and make it my own.  My office especially I’m excited about.  A new editing desk, new speakers, and I can finally put these movie posters I bought on the walls.  I have a fully cast signed Raiders of the Lost Ark poster (40×27) and The Shawshank Redemption cast signed, also 40×27.  Those are my prized processions when it comes to movie memorabilia.  I need to get good frames for them!  I also saw this today, which is a MUST BUY.  When to move and where and how to pay for it all…fun times.  It’ll come soon enough, perhaps this fall after things settle down a tad?  If they don’t settle down…whatever I’m gonna move anyways.

Till next time folks…peace out.

So you remember me mentioning the other day when I sent out dozens of emails to different organizations for hopes of endorsements and quotes right?  Well, I received some very positive responses!  God has really blown my mind in the last 48 hours or so with many things, but the comments I’ve gotten back concerning STANDING FIRM are very encouraging.  I woke up the other day with a voicemail from Randall Murphree from the American Family Association.  He had watched the film and really had a lot of great things to say.  He sent over a quote that was very generous and I had the pleasure of speaking to him on the phone this past afternoon.  What a warm guy he is!  Very encouraging and had a lot of wonderful things to say about the film.  He’s looking to help me in anyway he can so I look forward to what might come out of this for the future of the film.  A review of STANDING FIRM will be available in the August issue of the AFA Journal which circulates to 165,000 homes.  This is a very big thing for me, and I’m flattered.  Here’s the quote given:

“Standing Firm is a dramatic portrayal of one family’s tragedy and the challenges they face in a struggle to survive – financially, relationally and spiritually. Production qualities are top-notch, the story is gripping and the power of God to transform lives is crystal clear. Believers will find it a dynamite tool to share the gospel with others.”
- Randall Murphree, Editor AFA Journal
American Family Association

I received another email from Dan Royle at Moody Radio who enjoyed the film as well.  Hopefully some radio promotion will be possible.

“Whether you’re trying to lead a friend or family member to Christ, or you’re a new convert yourself, this film is inspirationally true to the struggles of life. The veracity of unwavering love shines bright!”
- Dan Royle, Moody Radio

God is good!  I was so excited to get these kinds of comments back, and I look forward to others that could come in.  The Dove Foundations review should be available soon.  I hope I get 5-Doves, that would mean a lot to me.  FINGERS CROSSED!  If not no biggy Something I forgot to mention…  When I was on the phone with Randall, he prayed for me, the film, and even my relationship with Denise.  It almost made me cry hearing him pray about all that stuff.  My lip was quivering like crazy.  Randall if you happen to come across my blog, thank you so much for your generosity and for being such an encouragement!

I found out an unfortunate fact today, I overdrew my personal checking account.  Apparently I had used the wrong card in buying something recently because I got hit with two overdraft charges and I’m in the hole.  Tomorrow I need to run over there and deposit something from my business account to take care of things.  I’ve had that checking account since I was a kid, and it’s the first time this has happened.  Honest mistake…I’ll get it taken care of.

By the way, if anyone out there knows anyone who is in the Christian arena who might take interest in my film please email me and let me know.  I would be happy to share it with them in hopes of another great quote/endorsement!

Lots of work to do in the next two weeks…it’s going to be insane.  Prayers appreciated.

After yesterday, I went to bed praying about a lot which shouldn’t be much of a surprise given the last few blog posts LOL.  I went to bed hoping for a much better day today.  When I woke up I found some nice emails sitting in my inbox.  I had gotten some endorsement responses for the film.  Some really great folks have gotten my emails and responded, I’m very pleased with the results thus far.  If we didn’t have this online screening room for media/press people, I’m not sure where we’d be.  It’s allowed anyone instance access to the film.  If your a filmmaker, I suggest you figure something like this out.  When the church screenings start coming together, I’ll be giving out passwords to Pastors to view the film.  They’ll have 24 hours to view the film, maybe 48 hours then it’ll expire to stop any massive bootlegging from occurring.

Also the Lord brought a solution to my financial woes, ten fold so Praise God for that.  It’s going to make things much easier until the film comes out.  I really needed this to come along.  I can’t tell you what but it’s a huge boost for me.  I feel like I can concentrate so much more on just doing the jobs I have instead of spending time trying to setup a net for myself if they fell through or if payments came in late.  What a load off…glad to see things are going to be OK.  While June will have me finishing up the film itself, July/August will have me doing a lot of business and promotional related things that take just as much work and prayer.  The church screening packages especially will be the big project during that time so they can be setup, as well as a premiere being planned.  Who pays for it and if it’s me (which it probably will be), where is that money going to come from?  How many church screening packages should I have on-hand before they’re available?  What needs to be designed, ordered, etc. and what about capital for that?  How do I ship stuff from my house in bulk?  What’s the best way to setup an online store on the Praise Pictures website for all of this?  Just a few of the wonderfully complicated questions that need answering Yippie!

Sometime soon I’ll write a very personal post I think.  Today Jason while everyone was over (spent the day with friends and with Denise), he dug through these big binders my mom packed with all my old drawings, beginning storyboards for things, special writing assignments from school, etc.  One of them was called “the future me” or something like that.  It featured a speech of a kind on what I wanted to set out and do in life, and how I was going to get there.  It’s incredible how accurate it is, and how early I was determined to make a feature film.  This paper was from 7th grade…crazy.  Making a film has been something embedded in the core of me for so long, just waiting to get out.  Standing Firm while almost 4 years in the making has been in the making since I was a kid.  All them creative juices waiting to bubble to the surface.  I look forward to sharing that with all of you.  It gave me a lot of perspective on just how hard I’ve worked (by God’s Grace) and where He has brought me since my days as a kid when all these dreams started.  Praise God…He’s so good lol.

I look forward to having some quotes and more thoughts from people regarding Standing Firm and what they have to say about it.  The reviews so far have ranged from OK to good and some great.  I’m fully aware of the faults of my film, thankfully.  It’s no Schindler’s List, but it’s no Scary Movie 6 either…thank goodness.  Most of the positive comments seem to center around the message of the film, the look of it (which really makes me happy), and the surprising acting despite the resources we had.  Regardless of faults I think the Lord really helped us make something special and surprising.  The message will shine through as well (I hope!).  For those that have learned the lessons within, it might be a run around the block, but I hope for those that need to hear what the film says…it’ll be something lasting that they can remember.

I can’t wait to share with you further details as we get closer to release.  Where the film will be released on DVD, what others have to say about it, and how you can help us share it! Thanks to all who continue to pray…there is plenty to do.

Hands to the plow…

The end of the month is rapidly approaching, and I have more to do and deal with than I can handle.  My finances are in shambles right now…prayers appreciated for that end of things.  It really is difficult to keep my anger in check when it comes to money and how people treat it.  The last few years have been one terrible financial experience after another, all with Christian folks I’ve trusted….most of them in the Christian film industry.  It’s really a shame.  Everyone ducking me when they have the chance, breaking promises, bringing up info and things that need to be paid for after work is done, people asking for money after they said something would be free, and various other things.  It’s hard, and I don’t know how to handle it sometimes…especially when it puts my livelihood in jeopardy, and especially my films future.  Liars and people who break promises and such especially concerning peoples dreams and such…how do you sleep at night?  I hope you sleep well on your soft pillow in your big house with your fat bank account.  Most don’t understand just how spoiled they are, shame on them.  The worst business people I’ve come in contact with in the past few years have all been Christian folks, what does that say?  I won’t bother explaining, you know exactly what it says, and it’s unfortunately no surprise.  What does that say?  LOL…ok I’ll stop.  Also, if you think I’m talking about you (whoever you are reading this…), don’t get angry.  I don’t apologize for writing it, and I guarentee some will think I’m talking about them when I’m not…so I look forward to that conversation/email/phone call.  So why write it?  Because it can help others who are looking to get into this industry and don’t know what they’re getting into.  Some of these problems I described above are a result of my own mistakes too, in trusting some people I have.  I need to live with that, but hopefully it can be of some help to someone.  Nothing worse than mistakes simply bringing grief, with no learning coming from them.  We need to be honest about our failures more, and our mistakes more…instead of putting on some squeaky clean persona.  I would rather be honest about who I am…

I really don’t know how I’m going to make money next year, which is a scary thought.  I’m already hounding people this year for money every month that owes it to me.  The beginning of the year was good but it’s been downhill since April.  I’ve been paying for every cost of this film on my own for a long time now.  The budget the film had when we started has tripled, and every month there are more checks to write for more people and different purposes.  I’m exhausted…  Having a real budget that is planned out with funds for each department is going to be such a blessing next time.  I look forward to that more than you know.  Perhaps this film will catch someones attention and they’ll offer me a job?  Perhaps it’ll just bring some more odd jobs my way?  We will see…  This film in many ways is a calling card to what I can do with little resources, so hopefully someone takes a risk on me to see what I can do if I actually had some resources?  That would be cool.  I just know that soon I hope to marry the girl of my dreams, and I want to make sure I can take care of her and take care of a future family.

I’m not sure where things are going to go or what God has in store, but I look forward to it all.  I really need a break.  I won’t be diving into another project after this, because I just won’t be able to stand it.  It’ll take a while to recharge after such a taxing experience.

The next 20 days will determine the final quality of the project that’s taken almost every dime of my money, every moment of my time and energy, consumed my thoughts and driven many life decisions the past few years.  It’s been incredibly rewarding and at the same time a nightmare of epic proportions.  Call me a pity party if you want but until you go through something like this yourself…do me a favor and can it

The harvest this will hopefully reap will surely make all of it worth it…I look forward to that.  Prayers appreciated as the month comes to a close, and prayers also appreciated for the following month and the one after in all that needs to be done beyond completing the final master.  As grim as I might seem, I have a hope that only Christ can give, but it isn’t always easy to deal with all this stuff.  It takes time, but I’m learning to cope little by little with each new unfortunate circumstance/situation.

Time for bed, BIG TIME.

This past weekend was very satisfying One of those weekends where you just say “ah…..yes,” after it’s over…realizing you really needed that.  This was one of those weekends.  Just a lot of time out of the house, around people you love, and fun in the sun.  I’m sore though, lol.  Today especially I played volleyball on a nice sand court at a friends house for 3 hours.  My feet are hurting pretty bad, sand hurts after a while and it gets padded down.  My neck has been out of a whack for a week, I’m not sure what’s wrong.  Surprisingly enough, no sun burns.  Maybe a very slight burn on my neck but I expected to be roasted after the past few days.  But nope! That’s a good sign because normally I fry in the sun.  Perhaps I’ll get some color this summer?  That would be nice…I’m as white as a ghost normally.

Work stuff is going decent, but this month was pretty void of activity.  Lots of email and paperwork type progress, but in terms of me personally getting a lot done, it felt very empty.  I’m glad May is over though.  Much has happened in the last 30 days I would like to forget about.  Plenty of arguments, unfortunate phone calls, discouraging messages or circumstances, etc.  Not a fun month in terms of social problems.

The score for Standing Firm is done as of today! I’m very proud of Jurgen Beck and the work he did on the film.  He brings the film to the next level, a step above (at the very least) most other films in our budget range.  Lots of films have a very bland “fill in the blank” type of score.  This one actually has a story to it.  Each character has their own type of melody or recognizable element.  The score develops emotionally along with the story, it’s great!  I’ve always wanted to work with a composer on a score since I love music so much but could never create any of my own.  Thanks Jurgen for all your hard work, my film is better because of it…

June is going to be insane.  I’m looking forward to it but at the same time dreading what’s to come.  My birthday is on wednesday, I’ll be 22.  Yes, I’m only 22…lay off lol.  I feel so much older and my body feels 35+, but I’ll only be 22.  I guess I shouldn’t complain huh?  Standing Firm will be completed in June.  That’s a crazy feeling.  I’ll have a completed copy of the DVD in my hand to mail off by the end of June.  It’s been a long road, and I’ll still have plenty to do in the promotion, church screening, premiere, release, etc. areas of the film but in terms of making the film, making the DVD and behind the scenes, and completing “the package,” it’ll be 100% DONE.  I’m gonna cry when that happens…no shame.  I look forward to heading to Maryland this upcoming sunday to get the sound-mix done, then rushing home to work like a madman every day until I have that final DVD in my hand.  It’ll be a really tight squeeze but I know the Lord will help me through it.  Prayers appreciated…

I’m probably starting some new work in June which is going to make things even crazier.  I’ll be holding down 3 different jobs if you can believe that.  All of them web/graphics/marketing related.  I hope this is something that can continue, because it’s a great way for me to work on other things while I work on normal “work.”  I seem to be pretty decent at it, so that’s good  Here’s hoping all that Standing Firm needs and all that all my clients need can be done on time and with a quality I’m happy with.

One month ends, another begins.  Hands to the plow…again…

It’s funny, yesterday while I was at Vintage (a college group ministry) I felt like I needed to leave during the ending of the message and just go read.  I left early enough that I was able to quickly read through a slew of different books of the bible.  I read 1, 2, and 3 John…Titus, Jude, some of Hebrews, some Romans, etc.  I read all sorts of things that really stuck me hard given what was going on in my life recently and what I knew was coming.  Much has come down on me yesterday and today.  Various phone calls, discouraging emails, etc. that made my day very miserable.  It was tough to keep my eye on the ball because right after something else happened another thing happened.  Not all of it was even bad, just weighty and very important.

I’ll be honest, my greatest struggle is just letting go of things I can’t control.  Whether it’s what people think of me because of something I’ve done, or not done, or said, or not said, or anything else…it’s hard for me to simply let go and realize I’ve said my peace.  There have been so many trials in the last year and many recently that have hit me hard, and I need to remember that suffering is refining.  If you remember, I posted something a few weeks ago where I just laid out on the table everything that was on my mind and asked the Lord to bring the fire if that’s what he wanted.  Now I find him bringing it, go figure! LOL.  I asked for it, and I understand that it’s of God and will make me a greater man of God…but it’s tough to remember that.

I couldn’t remember what passage I had read at Vintage until tonight when me and Denise were talking and I looked through the back end of my bible many times.  By the way, I am the luckiest guy ever…Denise is amazing.  I’m blessed to have her.  I love you if your reading this!

What I read was Hebrews 12…specifically 12:3 through 12:17. Give that a read, and you’ll see what I mean.  I hope that passage blesses you.  It’s definitely one I will remember and refer back to many times over.  Unfortunately the world teaches the opposite of what that passage is saying.  Anything “negative” is bad…it can’t be good…because it’s…”negative.”  Well sorry world, I believe in a God who gives me Romans 8:28 (one of two theme verses for Standing Firm) and shows it to be true on a consistant basis.  That verse shows it’s legitimacy every single day.

As tough as today was, I will persevere and take heart in God’s promises.  Another passage I read recently that speaks directly into my situation is James 4:13-17.  I need to keep my eye on the prize, and understand that God has gone before me.  It’s tough to hang onto that sometimes, and I had my areas of fault today and in recent days, but if it be God’s WILL, I WILL get through this.  I believe it is His Will and where he’s leading and has been leading for a few years in creating this film…so I need to work with confidence towards the goal.

I get so fired up about this stuff…lol.  I hope those passages are a blessing, they are for me.  So much to do, so little time…peace out folks, I need some rest.

Hey folks.  There have been some critical times in the last few years.  Much has happened, and many obstacles jumped.  However the last few years mean pretty much squat if the next 3 months or so…specifically the next 6 weeks don’t go over well.  I have so much to figure out in regards to Standing Firm’s completion.  I have a number of weeks to finish the film entirely, and get a final copy of DVD ready to go to presses.  I’m going to Maryland in a week and a half to get the sound mix done, shooting my interview this friday, and spending the rest of June scrambling to get that DVD completed.  I’ll also need to mail off a bunch of copies of just the film on disc to different places for endorsements, dove approval, film festival entries, etc.  I’m behind in figuring out how to do the church screenings, what’s included in the boxes and how to get it all, how to figure out how I can ship things from home, getting all the contracts in relation to the film and Praise Pictures in hand for safety and verification, some music contracts to hammer out for song licensing, marketing to do, how to get the copies that are going to US/Canadian stores made and making sure they can get paid for, how to pay for the materials for the church screenings, planning a hopeful premiere and all the logistics and politics to get that worked out, and all the while keeping up with a relationship with God, my girlfriend, and whatever other social interaction I can get.  It’s going to be an INSANE few months getting this film ready.

I’ve worked on this film in some capacity almost every night since April 2007.  I can’t believe it’s been that long, it almost makes me ill thinking about it.  So much work, stress, money, time…etc.  It’s absolutely insane…

This is the PERFECT timing for the enemy to be on attack either via other people (which is happening a little bit lately), or just through circumstances that come along.  I really need protection from the body right now, in every way possible.  If you care about this film in any way, pray.  I sound like I’m talking about armageddon or something, but I’m deadly serious.  This film is a gift.  A wonderful gift from God that has been an honor to work on.  He has used it in every area of my life to shape and mold me, and he isn’t done yet.  I have a feeling the rest of this year is going to bring even more refining than the last 3 did, just by the nature of the beast and all that’s happening with it.  I’m terrified but looking forward to the flame…

Hands to the plow…as always.