Life of Kyle Prohaska

*sniff* *sneeze* Yep, I’m sick.  I’m sick like this about once a year so I guess now is my time.  Blowing my nose all day, the really corny sounding voice, blah blah.  Today was a typical Sunday, more people seem to know about my move now and have given me all sorts of comments about it.  Everyone seems really excited but a bit surprised that I’m leaving.  I think that’s because they don’t understand why I have to, but I don’t blame them for not knowing that.  There aren’t any jobs for me here, none that will let me build a family the way I hope to.  People keep asking me who will fill my position at the church despite the churches current efforts to find volunteers.  I just shrug and say “I don’t know” because I honestly don’t have a clue.  It’s up to the church and its people to fill the position.  Having your sermons available on DVD is a luxury not a right, and standing around wondering how the ministry will continue is exactly why things die off in churches.  If everyone cares enough, somebody will step up.  If not, well you know the rest.  I’ve made it an unhealthy habit of mine to care about other peoples responsibilities far too much in the past, normally ending in an unhealthy result for myself even if I help the situation.  I’ve sorta backed off of that a little bit lately realizing there is a line.  I refuse to make it my responsibility to find someone who can do my job.  Not out of some sort of prideful arrogance, but simply because as a ministry staff member, at my time of resignation, it is the churches job to find a replacement.  Hopefully someone steps up, because the church is doing whatever they can to figure things out.  We’ll see what happens…

I went to lunch with my mom today after church.  It was nice as we don’t do it as often as we probably could.  Most of our conversation lately revolves around the move, how excited she is, and how hard it’ll be for her and dad.  It makes sense, I’ve been around many more years after high school than the average person.  They’re just being parents, it’s no surprise.  When I’m asked “how’d your mom handling it?”  I response, “She’s being a mom…what else?”  We had a good time, and the food was good.  I had a big salad with some cornbread and mexican food.  I think being sick has allowed me to eat more lol.

After that I went home to try and finish prep for tomorrows big shoot.  It will be a trying day, especially if I don’t feel better.  I should be Eric and Robbies last day working together on the film.  I hope we finish what we need although I think it’s pretty safe to say I’ll be back to the house at least one more time to shoot with Rob since last Fridays shoot didn’t go so well.  I just want to finish Eric ASAP since he has to drive 2 hours every time we shoot.  I hate having him come from that far over and over again then not finish then say “well looks like we need another day.”  It’s getting to the point where we need to just get the crap done…period.  No wining about “we need to finish this because I’m getting busy blah blah blah.”  Sacrifice is required, and everyone has sacrificed much.  All the previous sacrifice means NOTHING if we all get an attitude now.  I’ll be doing a post sometime soon about what my heart is on success and determination…I got a hefty post coming.  God has given me a heart and passion for the way I do business and the way I conduct my life and I’ll be sure to spill that and hopefully inspire a few of you.  Excuses are for wusses, get your crap done and get it done with integrity and heart…no matter what.

I’ve been showing the first 10 minutes of Standing Firm to some friends and getting some great feedback.  I’m glad to finally have the film moving along where people can actually start seeing it without holes.  There is so much work to be done yet, with the whole film lacking sound mix, score, etc.  However, it is neat to get enthusiastic comments from people, it gives me a boost of confidence.

Tomorrow is a big day, pray that it goes well!

I love Sundays.  I get to see folks I don’t normally see during my week, and I get to go to church  For those of you who don’t know, I tape the sermons and put them on DVD and on the internet.  I’ve been doing it for almost 3 years solid, maybe sitting in a pew 4 times or so since my first day.  Either way it went fine, some audio problems at the start but we got them fixed.  It’ll be weird to stop taping things on a Sunday but I am looking forward to it.  Being in ministry is tough, because on one hand you have a great responsibility to serve God, on the other hand you find yourself wanting to experience ministry and not run it all the time.  Sometimes I wish I could just come on a Sunday and have nothing to do, just greet folks and enjoy the sermon.  I think I’ll find that enjoyable in LA wherever that is.  Showing up with nothing to do but make friends and listen to the message, woo!

After church I went to the Brickyard with Kevin to eat and chat.  It’s a great restaurant, one of my first jobs took place there for almost 2 years and almost ruined me spiritually.  Being in a kitchen with a bunch of guys very unlike myself makes things difficult, and being a Christian…makes it worse.  That job showed me just how bad an influence people can be on you, no matter how strong you are they start to seep into your being.  I’m not sure I’ve been around non-Christian people regularly since, so I’m sorta bracing myself for LA.  I’m just glad I’m not stupid and blind and know that it’ll be a challenge.  I’m pretty sheltered but the fact that I know it is good.  Lots of people just figure “ah I’ll be ok” and fail miserably once they leave the nest.  I’ll face the same things, but knowing going in that I’ll be facing them.  Should be an experience for sure…as will finding a new church, friends, and starting over.

I’m changing a lot of things about myself this past month and the next.  I’ve been more outgoing I think then I’ve ever been, met more new people than I ever have, and just been a lot happier overall socially.  I’m also changing my appearance as I had mentioned with new clothes, and a new haircut soon.  I also need new glasses since mine are bent so maybe I’ll either get new ones or try contacts.  Then I’ll look really different.  All that plus the beard I now have going and the out of the ordinary social behavior, I’ll be almost a different person before I leave.  I’m looking forward to it.  I’ve never been happy with what I wear or how I look.  I have very few things I like to wear and I’m happy wearing, same with my hair and such.  Days when I feel like crap are mostly days where I don’t like what I look like.  I got rid of so many old High School shirts and stuff from when I was much bigger than I am now.  All that baggy stuff…yuck.  Time for changes there, big time.

I went to VOC tonight, which was great again.  I met more new people and hung out with friends.  We went to Applebees (yes again) and hung out there as well until closing.  It was a fun time.

The Life Giver website is going to be just fine I think, I sent a contract into the folks yesterday and will get it on Tuesday.  I’m glad God brought along this job, it’ll be nice to have more dough in the bank when I leave.  I’ll feel a lot better.  I’ll actually have more in my account than I have in years when I leave…which is funny considering (at the moment at least) I’m broke.

Standing Firm is going well too.  We will be shooting again either the end of this week or the next, or both.  I’m waiting on one more persons schedule before I can make anything positive.  Time is ticking and we probably have 5 days of shooting to do.  The ADR will be the bigger challenge I suspect because none of us have done it successfully before.  I hope things go well.  I’ll also be scrambling to get a rough edit of the entire film together to make sure I have ABSOLUTELY everything I need.  Not a single shot missing.  I won’t have a lot of time to get it if there is something missing and the time to edit will be a little while.  I’ll be cutting it close I suspect if there is any problems.  We should be good though, God has brought us this far.  Pray for nice weather!  We can’t afford to have a day blown because of rain or something annoying.  We need as much sunlight as possible to shoot.  Cloudy days don’t do us any good.

Till next time…

Today was a typical Sunday.  I’ve worked at my church for almost 3 years (3 years officially the end of April) as Director of Media Production.  I got up at about 8:30am.  There wasn’t any cereal I really wanted to eat (a bunch of healthy cereal).  Typically I like that stuff, but this morning I just wasn’t into it.  I grabbed a few Fiber Bars and a glass of milk.  I had Chocolate Chip & Almond and pounded those down for breakfast.  Don’t worry, it wasn’t like a Milky Way lol, it’s got lots of Vitamins in it.

I got to church about 10am, which is typical for me.  Our services start at 10:30 so I like to get there, open my office, get the camera out, get into the sanctuary, and have enough time to say hi to some folks.  Gave my friend Sam his DVD back (Thr3e), and congratulated my friend Shawn as his wife Stacey had their baby boy yesterday.  They have had a few miscarriages and Shawn had been waiting for a boy for a long time.  I’m glad God has finally given him one, he’s looking forward to catch in the backyard and all the cool dad stuff.

Another friend of mine Derek spoke today since the leadership was away at a retreat for the weekend.  He did a great job, and many people seemed Blessed by the message.  It’s always great seeing someone I know get up there and pulpit fill.  We are lucky to have so many men in our church willing to step up and serve.  In a perfect world, every man would have the ability to fill that pulpit if needed.  It was great to see a few people from another church I attend  on tuesdays for College Group (it’s called Vintage) come out and support Derek.  Great conversations after church as well.

I went to lunch with Derek, Doug (friend from Vintage), and Vinnie (brother of my friend Devan).  We went to the Brickyard Pub & BBQ.  That place has amazing food.  I had a big salad (haha Seinfeld), and chicken and black bean quesadillas.  It was good, I’m hungry just thinking about it.  We had some great conversation there, I don’t get to go out with folks very often and I hadn’t hung out with Derek for a while so that was great.  I also drove them there from the church.  I’m always driving alone, I never have anyone in my car and I like driving folks around for some reason.  Probably because I’m always so alone in the car it’s kinda refreshing to have it full of people.  Friends in the car, music playing, sunroof down, hey I could actually pass for someone my age!  Imagine that!

We are shooting at Kevin’s house tomorrow for Standing Firm and it should be a pretty short day.  I’m still going to prep for tomorrow after I write this so pray it all goes well.  Unfortunately we have to come back again I bet (for Rob not for everyone) because of time constraints.  One thing very difficult about this film is we didn’t have the whole thing story-boarded and 100% planned so we’ve found things we need well after we’ve finished shooting.  We’ll get it done though, Eric (playing Steven) should be done at that location after tomorrow and Rob should only have one more day.  All the days this week should be fun and I’m looking forward to getting back into filming again.  The day we are officially 100% done shooting will be a party day for me.  You’ll read about it here, don’t worry.  We started shooting a little after my birthday last year (June 5th I think, my Birthday is June 2nd) so it’s been a LONG TIME.  I can’t wait to be done shooting!  Ugh.  There is a fear after so long of getting lost in your storytelling and messing things up.  Think about being uncertain of yourself, your story, whether or not your terrible at what your doing, etc. during shooting.  In that case it would be normal to feel that way to some degree but almost nobody shoots over almost a year, so spread out that nervousness over that long time.  It’s sorta a crappy, anxiety filled nightmare way to spend a year.  I can’t wait for that day when I’m positive the movie works, because that day hasn’t come.  This is all new territory, and it makes me ill just thinking about it.

Well I’m off to prep, thanks for reading.

A funny video for your enjoyment as well.