Today wasn’t a good day as you can see from the title. We had a shooting day today that went OK. I didn’t get everything I needed and we ran out of time. I shot alone a lot of the day which isn’t fun. My head wasn’t in the zone either which really aggravates me. If I can’t do my job, nobody else’s matters. Great lighting with great acting without any cohesive flow to a scene doesn’t do the film any good. Neither does having shots that don’t cut together. The day was just really slow moving and I watch watching the clock all day knowing that we weren’t going to finish. That is never a good feeling. My gut sinks when I realize that, especially so late in the game. I just didn’t feel good and there were some personal problems on the set today that didn’t make things any easier. I won’t mention what it is but it’s a huge disappointment and I hope things finish well in the end. I thought about it the rest of the day and haven’t been able to shake it even now. I’ll probably lay awake thinking about it before I end up falling asleep.
I’ll give anything for this film, absolutely anything. I finish what I start, whatever that takes. I’ve let it get to unhealthy places a few times but I’m willing to do that again if I have to. My health doesn’t matter to me honestly when it comes to the film, unless my bad health gets in the way of the film that is. I’m too much attached to it, I’ll give it all. If I had to lose a hand to finish the project I’m pretty sure I would do it, where’s a knife? This is a personal goal, a LIFE goal. Something I would give anything to accomplish, and nothing and nobody will get in the way. God gave me this task, it will be finished…PERIOD.
I keep realizing more and more just how excited I am to leave. Not even because of what lies ahead, I’m just excited to be done with all this. My job at the church will be over, thank goodness. As much of an honor it has been, I’m thrilled for it to be done. I don’t think I’ll ever work for a church again. That isn’t to badmouth anyone at the church or point fingers at all. Working in ministry is a whole new ball-game. Much comes into play there that you wouldn’t understand unless you’ve done it. Time to move on, as quickly as I can.
It was 78 today, amazingly gorgeous out. I loved it, brightened my day after such a bad start. I took the long way home to enjoy the weather with my window down and the wind in my hair. I really just needed to chill and play some tunes. It felt good knowing I didn’t have a lot to do when I got home or the next day. That always makes me feel good since it doesn’t happen often.
I’m looking forward to tomorrow, should be a nice day outside. I can’t wait to get some stuff done and relax when I feel like it. Hopefully all the shooting scheduled next week turns out great and we get a lot done. I got 4 weeks left before the move, and a crap-load of stuff to do yet.
G’night.
